


Great Expectations

by MVforVictory



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Autism Spectrum, Awkward Kim Hanbin | B.I, Coming Out, Female Jinhwan, Find Out Next Time on Dragon Ball Z, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, Genderfluid Character, Goo Junhoe Is Also Whipped, Hanbin and Bobby are best friends, Hanbin is Straight™ lol, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Is Junhoe depressed?, It's just weed tho, June is an angsty boi, June's parents suck, Junhoe a big buff ho-ho-homo tho, Junhoe rolled a 1 for initiative, Junhoe-centric, Kim Hanbin | B.I Is Whipped, M/M, Mutual Pining, Now With Visual Links!, Recreational Drug Use, Service Dogs, Trans Male Character, Update: yeah June's depressed OOPS my bad, blame Bobby, but so does Bin's dad, coke mention, i love that that's a tag lol, i'm sorry for any inaccuracies, is he just emo?, ish not really kind of a bit tho, like the drug not the drink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2020-07-27 19:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20051071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MVforVictory/pseuds/MVforVictory
Summary: Junhoe knew that he wasn't exactly the friendliest person in their university, but he wasn't lonely, not like Jinan seemed to think.He didn't care much to meet her friends, and especially not Hanbin.Could a less-than-stellar first impression lead to something new?Something unexpected?_______Hanbin has a lot of secrets, and is never quite what Junhoe expects.Or, a collection of firsts between our two favorite losers with poor communication skills.





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> waaaaaaaaa i know, i know. i should be working on all of my other fics, but yolo.  
and i know that this one actually lost on the poll i did on twitter, but YOLO HSHSHHSHS
> 
> pls click this link for a short twitter thread with some pics and shit thanks  
\------------------  
CLICK ME!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one is a bit of a shorter one, just to get a basic introduction done of the boys (and girl)
> 
> enjoy~
> 
> (also I typed this in a very short amount of time and didn’t plan to start it actually but HERE WE ARE)
> 
> School year in SK: The academic year in South Korea begins during March and ends in the middle of July (1st semester) and starts again in August, ending in mid-February (2nd semester).

“We only have a few minutes left, so once you copy down the rest of the schedule, you’re free to go.”

_ Thank fuck. _

[Junhoe](https://twitter.com/MVgetanAttitude/status/1156708606550691841?s=20) had copied down the week’s syllabus at the beginning of the lecture, so he was ecstatic to be able to shove his laptop and notebooks into his bag before making his great escape.

He was barely out the door before he thought about the fact that he was meant to meet Jinan for lunch at the university café, turning on his heels to make his way to the east exit.

The walk was short, but rather enjoyable. It was fairly early into the new school year, Junhoe’s Sophomore year, making the crisp March air perfect leather jacket weather.

“June!”

Turning around, Junhoe was met with the sight of his best friend running up to him, [Jinan](https://twitter.com/MVgetanAttitude/status/1156708612468805633?s=20)’s dark hair pulled up into a messy bun. 

“Thought we were supposed to meet at Chack’s?” Junhoe lazily questioned, letting Jinan loop her arm with his as she struggled to keep up with his longer strides.

Jinan was the first person Junhoe had really opened up to when he got into the school last year. Most people assumed he was a rich asshole, which was fair considering how he acted, but only Jinan knew the real him.

The pair of them met when Junhoe first tried out for their university’s Jiu Jitsu team, the Junior (at the time) had immediately taken a liking to the opinionated, lanky boy.

Jinan pulled on his arm, hopping slightly as she tried to urge him forward, “Come _ on.” _

The goal for tonight was for Jinan to introduce Junhoe, _ officially, _ to her boyfriend of two years.

Yunhyeong was a bright-eyed third year, Junhoe didn’t know much about him other than his major and the fact that he was on the soccer team. He seemed nice enough, but Junhoe had very little care for people outside his direct circle.

Which wasn’t very big…

They made it to the café in record time, Jinan’s little legs speeding them along in the excitement to get her two favorite boys together. “They should be here soon,” she mused.

“What do you mean _ they?” _

They moved up the line, Jinan rushing out her tall, non-fat latte with caramel drizzle, a stark contrast to Junhoe’s Americano.

Jinan gave him a nervous giggle once they were stood to the side, waiting for their drinks, “I _ might _ have invited a few friends to come along too,” she admitted, “Stop making that face. It’s already your second year and you barely know anyone your age, or your major.”

“So, what?” Junhoe snarked, “I’m supposed to become buddy-buddy with your soccer-jock boyfriend and his friends?”

Junhoe hated the soccer team.

“C’mon, June. You know it’s not like that. Jongin graduated last year, and so did most of his friends,” Jinan tried to argue, “There’s a new captain, two co-captains, actually. They’re both really nice guys, I promise.”

Junhoe groaned, “Are they gonna be here?”

“Maaaaaybe.”

God, Jinan could be so annoying.

Junhoe didn’t _ want _to make friends. He was perfectly happy staying in his little bubble of poetry and away from everyone else.

That’s why he did Jiu Jitsu, he didn’t have to deal with a team. He wasn’t a _ team _ kind of guy.

“Jeenan!”

“Ugh,” Jinan groaned when she came back with their drinks, “How do they fuck up my name every damn time?” She blew a piece of her bangs out of her face, “I literally have a class with Jiuen.”

For such a dainty and pretty girl, Junhoe had never met someone that cursed nearly as much as Jinan did.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the Junior he knew to be [Yunhyeong](https://twitter.com/MVgetanAttitude/status/1156708618571538434?s=20) making his way in, still clad in the obnoxiously bright orange tracksuit the soccer team used for training. The older boy put a finger to his lips, signaling Junhoe to keep quiet.

“Boo!”

Jinan immediately screamed, elbow shooting out and nailing the Junior in the stomach, barely missing _ his junior. _ “Holy shit, Yunhyeong. Don’t _ do _that to me,” she screeched, fixing her ruffled hair and glaring at everyone staring, “If your dick doesn’t work anymore, it’s completely your fault and I take zero responsibility.”

“I thought you liked my dick,” Yunhyeong grunted out, claiming the seat next to Jinan as he toyed with his water bottle, “Bobby and Chanwoo will probably get here soon, pretty sure they were smoking in Bob’s dorm, and he texted saying Dong and Bin might be a bit behind with their business seminar.”

The only person named that Junhoe had actually met was Chanwoo, a Freshman that was currently enrolled in a writing class that Junhoe occasionally helped out in. The others he had no clue about.

He assumed they were on the soccer team, as they were friends with Yunhyeong, and that was probably the biggest reason Junhoe didn’t know them. After the disaster that was his Freshman year, Junhoe despised anything and everything to do with the soccer team.

“So, Junhoe. How do you like JU so far?” Yunhyeong asked.

Junhoe gave him a noncommittal shrug in response, “It’s good. I like my program.”

You’d never hear him admit it, but Junhoe actually loved all of his professors. They didn’t mind that he was more on the introverted side, or the snarky quips he made about authors, not when he was the top of his program.

The workload was the perfect balance of challenging and manageable, giving him just enough free time between himself and Jiu Jitsu.

“Oh! I see Bobby,” Jinan cut in, pointing to the door farthest from their table.

Junhoe turned to see a bushy-haired guy walk in, quickly being tailed by an equally as ruffled Chanwoo.

“Suuuuuuup,” [Bobby](https://twitter.com/MVgetanAttitude/status/1156708632907718658?s=20) clapped Jinan in a ‘bro-shake’ before blowing a kiss to Yunhyeong, taking the seat next to [Chanwoo](https://twitter.com/MVgetanAttitude/status/1156708646690217987?s=20).

For a second Junhoe figured he accidentally did it backward, but the other two looked so unfazed by it that it was probably normal.

He must have been making another face, because Jinan leaned closer to whisper, “Yes, he’s always like that.”

Junhoe raised an eyebrow.

“Even when he’s not high.”

“Sooooo, you must be Ju-ne,” Bobby grinned at him, crooked teeth and red eyes completely on display.

His eyes narrowed, “Junhoe. My name is Junhoe.”

He hated being called anything but his name, only ever letting Jinan or his mother get away with it.

“Geesh. Aight, man. Don’t get your leather pants in a bunch.”

Junhoe glared harder, but Bobby only grinned back.

“Speakin’ of,” he continued, “You’re pretty built, dude. How the fuck do you get those on over the bricks strapped to your thighs?”

_ What the fuck? _

The entire table burst out laughing at Junhoe’s gawking. Jinan let out several ugly snorts before she was able to reign it in, smacking Yunhyeong on the arm several times, “You’re so fucking crude,” she snorted again, fanning her face with her hands, “You say you’re straight but then you go and say shit like that.”

“Hey! The gayest shit I’ve ever done was make out with your boyfriend,” Bobby laughed, voice too-loud and carrying through the entire cafe.

“No, that’s not true!” Yunhyeong countered, “You missed my mouth because you were so fucking wasted.”

Junhoe was quickly getting overwhelmed with the bouncing conversations, not used to all of the energy coming from the two bickering boys.

“Oooooh, I see Donghyukkie,” Jinan cut the arguing off, reaching over to slap a manicured hand against Bobby’s face, grin splitting her face as [Donghyuk](https://twitter.com/MVgetanAttitude/status/1156708640126058496?s=20) and another hooded figure walked towards their table, “Dong Dong! It’s been so long,” she said, jumping up to hug the blonde.

“Donghyuk-ah has been preparing tons for his dancing competition,” Yunhyeong explained, fondly staring at his girlfriend and friend, “And that’s Hanbin,” he gestured to the boy in the ugly, yellow hoodie that had immediately taken the empty seat at Bobby’s other side, giving Junhoe a direct line-of-sight of his face, even obscured by the hood.

‘Hanbin’ had shaggy, blonde hair, styled over his eyes and roots disgustingly overgrown.

If there was one thing Junhoe _ hated, _ it was gross hair.

Cue Bobby. And now Hanbin.

Speaking of, Bobby had gotten uncharacteristically silent as he started to whisper to Hanbin, the blonde’s lips drawn into a tight line.

Of all of them, he seemed to be the most reclusive. All sharp eyes and blank expression as him and Bobby started to draw away, clipped words and clipped stares. Junhoe wasn't too ecstatic to be in the position he was in. 

Hanbin was already giving a terrible first impression, eyes repeatedly drifting over to Junhoe before snapping back to the table as Bobby continued to whisper. 

Maybe it was something to do with the harsh line of Hanbin’s eyes, the heavy glare, but Junhoe couldn’t help but sneer back at the pair, making the other drop his gaze indefinitely as he turned his head down.

Junhoe already had low expectations for this meeting, but this was rock-bottom.

Dots had been connected. 

Hanbin and Bobby were the captains of the soccer team that Jinan had told Junhoe about, the “great guys.”

Junhoe couldn’t help his snort, turning away from the two that had now fallen silent to face Yunhyeong, but he found the Junior’s eyes locked with Bobby’s, the two in a wordless-conversation.

“Hanbin-ah, where’s Chunhee?” Jinan asked, finally letting Donghyuk go to sit down.

Hanbin didn’t answer, and Junhoe almost snorted again at how rude he was acting.

Yunhyeong was genuinely one of the nicest people Junhoe actually knew, and he had no clue how he could be best friends with such a stupid and disrespectful duo.

“Chunhee had another training session today,” Bobby answered for the blonde, “Bin and I are probably gonna go pick her up after practice tomorrow.”

Junhoe rolled his eyes at that. He was a literate arts major, writing was his _ thing. _ He may come off as an asshole, but Junhoe still knew how to communicate.

He just chose not to.

So he already hated how Hanbin acted.

“Ahhh, babe,” Yunhyeong redirected, “Our first game is this weekend, you’ll be there?”

Jinan pulled her phone out to check her schedule, “I think we have training Saturday, but we’ll probably be able to make it.”

_ “We?” _ Junhoe groaned.

Junhoe had a feeling Jinan was going to try to drag him around to every single one of their meetups until Junhoe decided that he suddenly had zero standards and could tolerate mindless jocks.

“Yeah. We.”

The others continued to banter amongst each other, Junhoe occasionally getting pulled into the conversation, but Hanbin stayed silent the whole time.

No one really bothered talking to him. Junhoe didn’t understand the friendship there. What was the point of hanging out when you were going to sit silently with your head down, glaring every time you did look up? Hanbin didn’t seem like a very friendly individual, but could Junhoe see Bobby’s hand resting on his thigh under the table?

Junhoe was shocked to see even the slightest hint of _ gay _ from two outwardly heterosexual soccer players.

Or maybe Junhoe was just projecting.

Bobby’s arm was just barely in Hanbin’s space, and Junhoe couldn’t actually see anything past his elbow. Maybe it was just resting on the bench next to the blonde.

Not that he cared.

Jinan seemed to, however, leaning over Yunhyeong to grab Hanbin and Bobby’s joined hands to pull them onto the table, “What do we have here?” She joked, referring to the way Hanbin seemed to be playing with Bobby’s fingers, the curly-headed Junior just allowing it to happen.

But as soon as Jinan’s hand made contact with Hanbin’s, the blonde quickly detangled his fingers from Bobby’s to pull his sleeve down, crossing his arms and glaring until she sat back in her seat.

She didn’t seem to take any offense to the weird behavior, probably making it another normal thing in their friend group. How normal was that? How did they just _put up_ with that?

Junhoe couldn’t _ stand _ his attitude.

Jinan had ranted and raved about how cool all of her friends were, even if they got on her nerves frequently, but Junhoe just wasn’t seeing the appeal. Donghyuk and Yunhyeong were pretty okay, and he already knew Chanwoo before this, but Bobby was one french fry short of a Happy Meal.

And Hanbin seemed exactly like everything Junhoe hated.

“I think Bin and I are gonna head out,” Bobby stood up, waiting for Hanbin to follow before continuing, “We have an early practice tomorrow, Coach wants us to rework the lines for Saturday.”

Both boys headed out, Hanbin’s fingers tangling with Bobby’s once again as they made a hasty retreat.

“Are they—”

“Gay?” Jinan cut him off, “Nah. Bobby gives me bi vibes, but right now he’s too far up Jisoo’s skirt to be interested in _ any _ gender. Hanbin is straight, just super touchy sometimes, so don’t get your hopes up.”

“Please,” he scoffed, “Like I’d be interested in either of them. Curly isn’t all that bright and Blondey seems like an asshole.”

“Bobby’s actually really smart,” Yunhyeong mused, “And Hanbin just isn’t good with new people.”

“And ever since him and his girlfriend broke up last year, he’s been kinda quiet,” Donghyuk admitted, sharing a look with Yunhyeong, “I think Bobby said they dated for most of high school, but Sunnie broke up with him Freshman year, we thought he was gonna drop out for a while.”

Junhoe shrugged. He didn’t know why Donghyuk was telling him this, considering he really didn’t care. If he had any interest, Junhoe would’ve heard about the tragedies of his year’s soccer prodigy when it happened, but he didn’t. 

“Just give ‘em a chance,” Jinan nudged his foot with hers, “He’ll grow on you.”

“Great. Can’t wait.”

Yeah, he had pretty low expectations for all of their future meetings, but could you really blame him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/MVforVictory)  
I post rando updates and sneak previews of shit I’m writing lololol
> 
> also i didn't link Bin yet but just picture his bling bling style for this chapterrrr


	2. First Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Hanbin and Junhoe…talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters are gonna be pretty short in comparison to my other fics
> 
> and also i originally planned this as a twitter au, but ditched that idea because im more comfortable with ao3, so that's why the formatting is the way it is.
> 
> might turn it into a twit au some day

_ 3 more minutes. _

Junhoe tore his eyes away from the clock, knowing that staring at the slow-moving hands would only make time pass more sluggishly.

Normally the Creative Writing elective was one of Junhoe’s favorites, but their usual professor was out for the week, leaving them to sit in silence with the Calculus teacher that tried to fail him during his second semester of Freshman year.

_ Asshole. _

Packing up his stuff early, Junhoe carefully closed his laptop to tuck it inside his bag, closing his sketchbook and setting it, along with his current novel, inside as well.

_ 2 more minutes. _

Why did time seem to be dragging on? This was the last class of his Friday block, meaning after this he was free to spend the day as he pleased.

Both him and Jinan had training the next morning, so Junhoe was probably going to use the time as a rest day.

_ 1 more minute. _

He shrugged on his jacket, preparing to flee as soon as he could.

Most professors would have let them go early, or canceled the class and not even bothered with a replacement.

_ Come on. Come on. _

“Uh—Professor Jeon?”

Junhoe lazily glanced to a girl in the front row, _ Jihyo, _ his brain supplied.

“Can we go?”

It was then that the geezer seemed to remember he was meant to be running a class, having told them all to _ sit down and keep quiet. _

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Dismissed,” he waved them off, going back to whatever magazine he was looking at hidden in the Calculus textbook.

No one read that shit for fun.

Junhoe quickly gathered his shit, slinging his bag over his shoulder before standing up and stalking towards the door.

“Eh—Uh—Excuse me?”

Junhoe ignored the voice, not aware that it was directed towards him. People didn’t try to talk to him, he never let them, always glaring until they gave up.

“J-Junhoe?”

Surprised, he turned around at the unfamiliar voice, readying some smart-ass comment that died on his tongue almost immediately after facing the person.

Hanbin stood in front of him, all unruly blonde hair and yet another obnoxious hoodie, fingers hidden in the too-long sleeves. He looked slightly ruffled in a way that only came from falling asleep mid-lecture.

Junhoe cleared his throat, unsure as to how to continue with the awkward meeting, “Did you…need something?”

He wanted to go home and watch Netflix, maybe convince Jinan to come by with take-out so they can watch something together.

How did Hanbin even know where he would be?

_ …Jinan… _

“I was—was w-won-wondering if you’d…be able to—to help me? W-With something for a project?” Hanbin stuttered out, never meeting Junhoe’s eyes.

“Why should I?” Junhoe asked, Hanbin glancing up in surprise before dropping his gaze again after a few seconds, “I help you out, for what? I’m busy.”

He turned back around, ignoring Hanbin’s kicked-puppy look before continuing out.

“Wait!” Hanbin jogged to catch up with Junhoe’s longer strides, “Jinan said—s-said you used to live in Japan. Y-You’re dad’s business—I—I wanted to—”

“Ask some questions?” Junhoe cut him off, quickly becoming impatient with having to wait for the shorter to finish, “I don’t know a damn thing about what he does, so don’t even bother.”

He hadn’t expected Hanbin to ever try to start a conversation with him, let alone one asking for his _ help. _

Junhoe also hadn’t expected the soccer prodigy to be so fucking awkward, or take so long to form a sentence. 

_ Jinan is gonna be pissed, _ he thought, already able to hear the senior’s complaints of how Junhoe shouldn’t have been so mean to her _ dear friend. _

How troublesome.

He stopped walking, sighing as he turned around to see Hanbin had also stopped, standing in front of the door to the now empty classroom as Junhoe stood just a few meters down the hall.

“Listen,” he sighed again, he truly had no idea why he was doing this, “The café we first met at. Meet me there later, 5 o’clock. Bring whatever, just _ please, _ write whatever questions you wanna ask down.”

Junhoe barely spared Hanbin’s red cheeks a second glance before walking back through the hallway.

Just what exactly was he getting himself into?

* * *

“Did you tell Blondey to talk to me?”

Jinan gave a little squeak of surprise, spinning around to pound her little fists into Junhoe’s chest.

“You—Asshole! Why do you all insist on sneaking up on me?” She raved, hair falling from the messy bun sat atop her head.

Junhoe just stared at her.

“Okay, Okay!” Jinan relented, “Hanbin was struggling on a topic for his Global Business class. He was assigned Japan, but his Japanese is seriously _ so bad,” _ She giggled, the sound far too angelic for her personality, “Not only did you live in Japan, but your parents run one of the most well known Korea-Japan cosmetics companies. Plus…Maybe he’ll actually be able to learn enough Japanese to not fail his language class.”

“Couldn’t you just help him with that?”

Jinan was just as good with the language as he was, maybe not as quick, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t have been able to help the business major.

But, Junhoe supposed it did make sense for Jinan to recommend him to the guy.

That didn’t mean he had to agree, though.

“Please tell me you agreed,” Jinan pouted up at him, making Junhoe raise an eyebrow in question, “It took a lot for him to even talk to you, I’m sure. Please, just humor me this once. Wait until after you get to know him a little to make your judgments.”

“Whatever.”

* * *

_ Where was he? _

Junhoe regretted agreeing to meet Hanbin during one of the busiest times of the day. Rush hour at the café was no joke, bustling students mindlessly walking around like zombies in the middle of the day.

It wasn’t even a month into the semester, Junhoe had no idea what to expect the place to be like during mid-terms, or—God forbid—Finals.

He hadn’t come around much his Freshman year, spending too much time with Jongin and his friends to really explore the campus.

Shaking his head to get rid of the impending thoughts, Junhoe checked the time on his phone. His coffee had almost gone cold.

Junhoe hated waiting.

He was just about to gather his belongings to leave when a body stumbled into the seat across from him.

“Sorry I’m l-late,” Hanbin almost fumbled the to-go cup in his hands, hastily trying to gather his books in a semi-neat fashion on the table.

“Your hair is different.”

[Hanbin](https://twitter.com/MVgetanAttitude/status/1156708600053735426?s=20) met his eyes for another brief moment before looking away, “O-Oh, r-right. I—Uh—I was going to—going to get my roots bleached, b-but…” He trailed off, all-too-aware of Junhoe’s rapidly growing impatience, as he ran a hand through his hair.

Junhoe had to admit, he definitely looked better with the solid brown coloring, and he guessed the waves were kind of cute.

“So, what did—The fuck?”

Something had brushed his leg, Junhoe shoving his chair away from the table to look under it, spilling what was left of his coffee on the table.

Two dark brown eyes stared back at him.

“Did you bring your _ dog _ in here?” Junhoe asked, staring incredulously at Hanbin, “Into a café?” 

The brown-haired male was frantically trying to clean up the spill before anything got damaged, but some had already dripped off the table and onto Junhoe’s grey jeans.

“Hello? _ Dog? _ How did you even get it in here? Didn’t they notice?”

Hanbin grimaced up at him, actually managing to keep their gazes locked, “C-Can’t you keep it d-down? People—are—People are _ staring.” _

Junhoe looked around, glaring until all of the wondering eyes snapped away, “Let them stare, I don’t care.”

Something was mumbled, Junhoe not quite able to catch it as Hanbin turned his face back down.

“Excuse me?”

“I—I said _ I care.” _

_ Oh. _

“So what’s with the mutt?”

He peered back under the table. The dog, unlike its owner, looked directly back at him, eyes dark and unblinking as its head dropped back onto its paws.

Hanbin’s leg was shaking, the dog quickly breaking the staring contest with Junhoe to rest its head and one paw over Hanbin’s thigh.

“Can you s-stop—stop that?” Hanbin muttered, “People are looking a-again. Please, get—get up.”

_ Hmm, so they were. _

“And _ her _ name is Chu-Chunhee.”

“Is that her full name?” Junhoe couldn’t stop himself from snarking as he sat back upright, “Chu-Chunhee?”

Hanbin’s face flushed, fingers fiddling with the cuffs of his hoodie and _ maybe _Junhoe felt a little bad.

The stutter was obviously something Hanbin was very aware he had, and most likely self-conscious of.

And Junhoe had just mocked it.

To his face.

He knew he shouldn’t act so cold right off the bat, but it was hard not to be on edge when he was once at the mercy of the other boy’s seniors.

But Hanbin didn’t seem to follow any expectations Junhoe had.

“Look,” he huffed, “That was out of line, and I’m sorry. Let’s just…get on with the questions.”

Hanbin opened his mouth like he was going to answer before clamping it shut, pushing an open notebook across the table to sit in front of Junhoe.

Glancing down at the scrawl on the page, Junhoe squinted at the pen scratches, trying to decipher exactly what it said.

“I…can’t read any of this.”

It was literal code. A completely different language.

“It’s—I-It—It says—”

“Just stop,” Junhoe cut Hanbin off, knowing that he was only making the other boy more nervous, and in turn, making his stuttering worse, “This was a waste of time.”

Hanbin’s shoulders raised at the words, and Junhoe couldn’t for the life of him understand why that made him feel bad.

“Just send me the questions in a document,” he scribbled down his number on the page, “I’ll try to ask my father, that would probably already give you a higher mark than without.”

He gathered his empty cup and the pile of napkins before standing up, leaving Hanbin looking after him in shock as he threw the garbage out.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say goodnight till it be morrow,” Junhoe took a dramatic bow, sweeping up his jacket before leaving Hanbin with his mouth open, still staring.

* * *

It was safe to say that Junhoe wasn’t expecting to actually receive any messages, he figured he had scared Hanbin off with his own sharp stare and even sharper words, but yet again, Hanbin wasn’t what he expected.

Hanbin…was a strange one.

What happened to the boy he met at the café? The one with the quiet whispers and strong glare and secrets Junhoe couldn't help but want to uncover.

He would never have thought the captain of the university soccer team would be such a socially inept being, not when he seemed to be such close friends with Yunhyeong, Bobby, and Jinan—Three of the biggest social butterflies in their school.

Hanbin was an awkward one, but Junhoe was…

Was…

_ Intrigued. _

Junhoe _ was _ a literature major, after all. He liked riddles, enjoyed being able to take apart poems until he understood each and every line.

Plus the words left unwritten. 

So when his phone _ pings _ with a notification in the middle of his drama marathon, he wasn’t expecting the unknown number staring back at him.

_ ‘hey,’ _ the text read, ‘_heresthequestions’. _

Junhoe blinked at it at first, knowing immediately that Hanbin was the sender.

Another message comes seconds after, an image attached, followed by another.

This one reads, _ ‘thanksjuliet,’ _and that was that.

No more messages come through. He didn’t know what to save the number as, so he didn’t.

Junhoe looked through the file that was sent, this time actually able to read the questions, and was surprised for a moment at how articulate Hanbin seemed to be on paper.

But, then again, the questions were probably just a _ copy + paste _ from the internet, so Junhoe wasn’t going to be _ that _ impressed.

But…_then again… _

The questions _ were _ really good.

He saved the contact as _ Romeo. _

Junhoe had no idea what possessed him to do this, but…

He texted back.

Just a _ ‘hey.’ _

The response he gets back is almost immediate.

_‘Imsorryaboutspillingcoffeeonyou.didnmeanto’_

He snorted, figures Hanbin’s texting would be just as neurotic as he was. 

_ ‘Technically I spilled the coffee on myself,’ _ Junhoe messaged back, trying not to feel too much from just a simple texting conversation.

_ ‘Imsorrythatmydogscaredyouandmadeyuspillcoffeeonyourself’_

_ ‘I wasn’t scared, just caught off-guard’ _ Junhoe texted back indignantly, before adding, _ ‘And can you please text normally? I can barely read that, almost like your handwriting.’ _

_ ‘spacebuttonbroke’ _

_ ‘You’re using an iPhone.’ _

_ ‘yucantprovethat’ _

_ ‘But…I literally can? The bubbles are blue, dumbass.’_

_ ‘nuuh.minearegray’ _

_ ‘*Grey.’ _

_ ‘nuuuuu.isgray’ _

Junhoe shook his head, trying not to let the fondness creep up on him, but he could already feel himself cracking, a slight smile slipping onto his face.

Hanbin acted like an absolute child through text.

_ ‘You’re starting to make me think your dog is smarter than you are._

_ Give her the phone, maybe I’d actually be able to have an intelligent conversation. _

_ What was her name again? Chu-Chu?’ _

He was surprised with himself, having just triple texted when most people were lucky to get one back.

_ ‘shewouldprollybiteuifucallherchuchu _

_ idprobablybiteutoo’ _

Junhoe snorted at that.

_ ‘Well, if it means anything, my blood is probably 60% coffee, so hope you like caffeine.’ _

_ ‘coffeemakesmefeelgross _

_ andhyper _

_ soidontdrinkit’ _

_ ‘So, what do you drink?’ _

Was this some backhanded way of asking Hanbin to hang out? Why was he even asking?

Junhoe never would have cared about someone else’s drink preferences, only knowing Jinan’s because she made him pick one up for her every Tuesday and Thursday.

_ ‘likehotchocolate’ _

He hated how that made him smile a bit.

But it was so fitting. Junhoe wondered if that’s what Hanbin had in his cup when they met earlier that day.

When Junhoe was acting like a total douchebag.

_ God, _was he really going to let himself act like the people he despised? The people that made his Freshman year suck so much he almost didn’t come back.

Yes, Hanbin was the new captain of the soccer team that Junhoe came to hate so much last year, but he was most likely a separate entity from Jongin and his friends.

At least, he hoped.

For all of his grumbling, Junhoe cared about Jinan a lot, and he trusted her judgement, so maybe that was enough of a reason for Junhoe to give him a chance. 

* * *

“Why do you look dead?” Was Jinan’s greeting as soon as Junhoe walked into the training room.

He rolled his eyes in response, trying (harder than he should have had to) to keep the smile off his face. But, alas, Jinan was a girl, and girls know everything.

“What’s that smile? I haven’t seen that smile?” She prodded, knowing Junhoe would cave if she asked him enough times, “You’re talking to someone. You’re talking to a boy! That’s why you were up late!”

“Get out of my face,” Junhoe pushed her away with a hand to the forehead, tugging at her bun when she tried to claw at him with her acrylics, “I was working on an assignment.”

Not entirely false, he _ was _ working on an assignment.

But…It wasn’t exactly _ his _ assignment he was working on.

He kept texting Hanbin, staying up far later than he should have, to the point that he was starting to pick up on the other’s texting habits.

It was weird, and it made him feel weird things.

He never was a social person, didn’t have the desire to know everyone on campus, not like Jinan did. 

Hanbin just seemed different. He understood almost every reference Junhoe made, and didn’t mind the snarky quips, as long as they didn’t jab at his insecurities.

In fact, he knew how to clap back, and had a meme for almost every occasion.

“It’s Hanbin, isn’t it?”

Jinan squinted up at him, like she was trying to pick apart his brain, and succeeding by the looks of it.

“You were texting Hanbin,” her eyes narrowed even farther, and Junhoe let his hand fall from where it sat atop her head, “Why were you texting Hanbin?”

The accusatory note in her voice unsettled Junhoe to no end, unsure as to where it came from, “Why do you care?”

Jinan seemed to notice how tense Junhoe became. She reached up to redo her bun, a nervous tick Junhoe was all too familiar with.

“Sorry…It’s just…” She paused, blinking up at him with those big, watery eyes he hated so much, “You both mean a lot to me, and I…I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”

Junhoe’s eyes widened slightly before a smirk crept onto his face, “Why are you talking as if we’re about to fuck and fall in love?”

She blinked a few times.

“Are you…not?”

And then Junhoe blinked a few times.

Maybe he needed smarter friends.

“No? I was helping him on his project, like you asked me to?” He said, putting extra emphasis on the last part.

“Oh, right. Just the assignment?”

_ Don’t crack. _

Jinan didn’t wait for his answer before continuing, “Isn’t he the most adorable thing? Doesn’t pick up on sarcasm a lot of the time, so I always feel like he thinks I’m insulting him, but then turns around and spams me with links to Shrek porn. Did you know he has a whole folder dedicated to wholesome memes?”

_ Ahhh, _Junhoe knew exactly what Jinan was trying to do.

“Uh-uh,” he tutted, “We’ve gotta start now, pipsqueak.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she pushed at his chest, somehow managing to move him back several inches, before turning around, “Just don’t make him cry anymore, okay?”

“I made him cry?”

“Yup.”

Well now he felt like a dick, but it couldn’t have been _ too _ bad if Jinan wasn’t scalping him on the spot, “How do you know?”

He must not have been able to hide the..._worry?..._in his voice, because Jinan peered over her shoulder to throw him back a smirk of her own.

“What’s this? Koo Junhoe showing feelings for someone he barely knows? How sweet.”

“Jinan, c’mon. Did I really make him cry?”

He didn’t know why that thought made _ him _ want to cry, when not even 48 hours he didn’t care at all about the other’s existence. 

She seemed to notice he wasn’t joking around anymore, “Calm down, June. You may have been a part, but I think he just got a little overwhelmed at the café. He called Yun to come get him, but he was fine after, okay?”

It was rush hour when Junhoe left, and Hanbin did seem like the type to not like large crowds, but he could’ve stayed. 

Social anxiety, perhaps?

Why did he care?

“Yeah, okay.”

Junhoe didn’t get it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love junbin okay
> 
> i miss hanbinnie
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/MVforVictory)


	3. First Dorm Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Junhoe visits Hanbin’s dorm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy #4EverWith7KON!!
> 
> JunBin stays winning so we stay winning

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“Calm down, pipsqueak,” Junhoe laughed, pushing Jinan away by her forehead, “I sprained my finger. I’m not gonna die.”

She huffed, knocking his hand away, “I still don’t know how you managed to do that _ before _your match. You’re not participating, right?”

“Nah, not allowed,” he answered.

“What did you even do?”

Junhoe blushed slightly, mumbling out the answer, “I shut my hand in the bathroom door.”

“And how did you manage that?” Jinan sighed.

“I…It was, like, two in the morning…”

“And why were you awake?”

“I…was texting…someone.”

Jinan sighed again before standing up on her tippy-toes to flick Junhoe in the forehead, “You’ve been texting Hanbin non-stop for the past few days. Not that I’m not happy with this development, but…” She paused, looking at him with a perfectly outlined, raised brow, “You’re going to catch feelings.”

“Jinan, don’t be ridiculous,” Junhoe chortled, “You said to give him a chance, so I did. He’s the only person that understands my obscure references.”

He took Jinan’s hand in his own, spinning her around before dipping her back, even as he winced at the twinge in his finger.

“If I could ask though, what’s with the stutter?”

“You mean the one you made fun of?”

Junhoe bit out another wince, this one having nothing to do with his throbbing finger, “Stop bringing that up, please. I felt like enough of a dick when it happened.”

“Did you even apologize?”

“No,” he groaned, “I didn’t want to bring it up. Didn’t know how without making it awkward, or something, again.” 

Laughing, Jinan smushed his cheeks together with a manicured hand, “You’re such a hopeless gay.”

_ “God, _shut up about that already!” Junhoe shook her hand off, “I already said I don’t like him like that, and he’s not my type, anyway.”

“And straight. Don’t forget straight.”

He slapped a hand against his forehead, “Yes, Jinan. I’m aware he’s straight. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Junhoe stepped back, “I have no use being here, might as well leave.”

Even with a sprained finger, Junhoe knew he would have been perfectly capable of participating, but their trainer had very little faith in his self-preservation skills, it seemed.

Fairly so.

Jinan called her goodbye, yanking him forward by the collar of his shirt to plant a loud kiss on his cheek before she ran off in the direction of the girls’ locker room.

He took his time on his way out, not finding any reason to rush when the rest of his day was free, classes having been canceled due to a speaker holding an assembly with a majority of the school attending.

Liberal arts majors, as well business, were meant to be there, but Junhoe would rather shut his hand in a door again then waste his time at yet another one of those.

Hanbin was also meant to attend, but Junhoe had a feeling that Hanbin wasn’t going because of more than just a headache, as he had cited earlier.

The café was almost equidistant from the training center to where he knew Hanbin’s dorm to be, Junhoe didn’t know quite what reason he did it, but he had gone in after noticing how slow the place was and ordered a hot chocolate along with his normal coffee without even thinking. 

Well, he had the drink now, and he didn’t even like hot chocolate.

No use wasting it, so he might as well find someone that actually liked it…

Junhoe was walking to Hanbin’s dorm before he even finished thinking it over.

The hall name had come up in passing, when the business major was complaining about the boys in the room next to him.

He also knew Hanbin was the second floor, closest to the east stairwell.

Okay, maybe he knew a little more than he should, but sleep-deprived Hanbin was at fault for at least half of that.

Junhoe swiped his student ID, waiting for the light on the door pad to change to green before struggling to open the heavy metal while balancing the drinks in his not-injured hand.

The steps and hallway were desolate, Junhoe taking in the dorms he hadn’t seen in months.

He suddenly stopped. Maybe texting Hanbin would have been a good idea, rather than going off what the other had jokingly texted last night (or was that this morning?) when he had told Junhoe to come keep him company since they both planned to skip the assembly.

It’s been almost a week since their less-than-perfect meeting, with both of them somehow managing to avoid seeing each other in person.

Junhoe had gotten comfortable with texting Hanbin, but he already knew that this would end up setting them back to square one.

Hanbin would get super nervous, and Junhoe would say something rude and make it even worse, and then Jinan would bitch at him for being an asshole.

He’s been standing in front of Hanbin’s dorm for far too long, the silver 131 gleaming in the yellow light. Well, Junhoe hoped this was Hanbin’s dorm, considering the other had never specifically said it.

Fuck it. His coffee was going to get cold.

Junhoe knocked.

No response.

He knocked again.

And again, no answer.

He was just about to pull out his phone out to call when the door unlocked.

And opened.

Hanbin appeared in the doorway, pantless and wearing yet another hoodie—_How did he have so many hoodies?—_yawning as he rubbed at his eyes with the sleeves.

“Bob, told you. M’fine.”

As soon as he looked up and caught sight of Junhoe, he squeaked.

He _ squeaked. _

And then slammed the door in Junhoe’s face.

Well.

Junhoe could hear several banging sounds coming from inside the room, doors shutting and drawers slamming until Hanbin was opening the door again.

“S-S-Sor-Sorry.”

Junhoe frowned at that. Gone was the sleepy Hanbin from before, replaced with a somewhat startled-looking and stuttery Hanbin.

Was it his fault? Hanbin’s nervousness?

He hadn’t stuttered when he thought it was Bobby, only after realizing it was Junhoe.

Could he control it? 

Maybe _ control _ wasn’t the best word…but Junhoe had no idea how to explain it. 

He should look into it, find out what made Hanbin _ tick, _ make himself a little less ignorant. Not because he _ cared, _ but just because he didn’t like not knowing. Simply that.

“You know you’re still not wearing pants, right?” Junhoe awkwardly pointed out, not caring to be subtle as he looked the smaller boy down.

Hanbin seemed to snap out of his Bambi state, looking at his bare legs before glancing back up and meeting Junhoe’s eyes, shrugging.

_ Bambi. _

A fitting name. Between the deer-in-headlights look when he was spooked, and the doey-brown eyes that barely met Junhoe’s own, Hanbin reminded him of an awkward, baby deer.

“Any reason you slammed the door in my face?” Junhoe mused, tone light and teasing, making Hanbin shrug again, “Just felt like it?”

He received a cheeky smile.

And gay-panicked _ just a little. _

Hanbin had dimples. Junhoe was a damn sucker for dimples.

He cleared his throat, “I brought hot chocolate. Let me in.”

“W-What-t?”

“I said I brought hot chocolate. And you said you wanted company because Bobby wasn’t going to be here, or Yunhyeong. Here I am,” Junhoe deadpanned, “Move.”

Silently, Hanbin stepped to the side, still staring as Junhoe strolled into the room.

“You don’t have a roommate?” 

Hanbin shook his head as he shut the door, giving Junhoe a glance of the letters on the back of his hoodie.

** _BOBBY_ **

** _21_ **

Junhoe scrunched his nose up. _ Yeah, _ definitely dating.

Or maybe it was like a one-sided love, or even a triangle, seeing as Jinan had mentioned Bobby liking Jisoo.

“Gimme.”

He blinked, finding Hanbin standing a few feet in front of him, making _ grabby hands _towards the drink in Junhoe’s hand, which he passed over without even thinking.

“Thankyou,” Hanbin mumbled, sweater-covered hands wrapping around the cup as he took a slow sip, “S’good.”

Hanbin, somehow, didn’t seem to stutter when he spoke fast, or maybe it was due to him whispering?

“Hey.” A random thought came to him, “Where’s your mutt?”

If the dog stayed in the dorms, it should have barked as soon as Junhoe knocked, as dogs usually do. 

Hanbin tilted his head before walking past Junhoe to clamber up onto his bed, pulling back his covers to reveal a curled-up German Shepherd.

“Lazy,” Hanbin smiled. He leaned down to press several loud and overdramatic kisses between her ears, making the dog let out an annoyed huff as her owner proceeded to make himself comfortable, half on top of her.

Junhoe stood in the middle of the room, not quite knowing what to do with himself.

“Sit.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sit,” Hanbin repeated, pointing to the desk chair that sat next to the bed.

_ Bossy. _

Junhoe thoughtlessly complied, warily eyeing the dog as he took a seat a few feet away.

The dog seemed to be staring right back at him. It was creepy.

Should he attempt to start a conversation? What was he even doing here?

“Finger?”

“W-What?” It was Junhoe’s turn to stutter out, confused until he followed Hanbin’s gaze to the splint on his finger. “Ah, yeah. I blame you for keeping me up past my bedtime.”

Hanbin chortled, taking another sip of his hot chocolate before setting it on the desk behind Junhoe’s back.

To reach, he had to lean a little closer, one hand propped on the edge of the bed and putting himself slightly in Junhoe’s space.

Junhoe could smell the hot chocolate and something else, something that reminded him of a soft cotton. 

“Movie?” Hanbin asked, not bothering to wait for Junhoe’s answer as he crawled towards the end of his bed, where his laptop was already open and connected to the TV sat on the dresser.

Hanbin must have been using it before Junhoe showed up. He was proven right when the screen turned on, revealing a folder of cartoon movies downloaded onto it.

Junhoe watched as he scrambled to exit out of the screen, only pausing when Junhoe spoke up.

“Just put on what you were gonna watch.”

Wide-eyed, Hanbin turned to him in surprise before another smile broke out on his face.

It was different than the other one. His dimples appeared deeper, one a little bit more than the other, just like how his eyes closed just a bit unevenly.

Junhoe was stuck, couldn’t look away. He tried to focus on those imperfections, his crooked tooth, the barely-noticeable acne scars. Anything.

Anything other than the way his hair curled around his ears, or how his hoodie-covered fingers brushed the strands back. 

Hanbin looked back, a quick glance into Junhoe’s eyes before blushing and turning to the laptop.

Right, he didn’t like staring.

“N-Nani r-re-recom-m-men—” Hanbin cut himself off, tapping his hand against his thigh a few times before finally getting the words out, “R-Recom-mended _ Up.” _

_ “Up? _ American movie?”

Hanbin hummed as Chunhee finally got up from her napping position, nudging the boy’s hand away from his thigh to lay herself across his lap.

“Isn’t she heavy?” Junhoe wondered. German Shepherds weren’t exactly _ small, _ very much the opposite, and Hanbin probably had a solid 20kgs draped over him.

“S’fine.”

“So…Jinan recommended this movie?”

“Mhm.”

_ Right. _ This was a bad idea. 

He’s never felt this awkward, even if he was a relatively anti-social creature. He was good at avoiding awkward situations by glaring until he was left alone, or charming if, and when, he had to.

Hanbin finished setting the movie up, tapping Chunhee on the top of her head until she let him it up and moved back to his original spot.

Junhoe tried not to look at Hanbin’s bare legs, long and lean and tan. 

He was gay. Sue him.

And, objectively speaking, Hanbin was cute. 

“It would definitely take more balloons than that to lift a house.”

“Shh.”

“Okay. It’s a cartoon, about a chubby boy scout. And a grumpy old man. And balloons.”

“Shhhhh.”

“Wait, are you _ crying?” _

“Sh-Shhh-hh.”

Junhoe blinked at Hanbin a few times. He was curled up in the corner of the bed, pressed into the wall with his knees pulled to his chest.

“It’s not even that sad,” Junhoe gawked as Hanbin hastily wiped his tears away.

They had been slowly and steadily flowing since the hag died, now they were at the part where the house finally reached the falls, except there was a fog and something happened and now they were in the forest with a bird?

“I’m lost.”

“Junai, shush.”

_ Junai? Jun’ai? _

Did Hanbin know what he just called him? Junhoe doubted it, knowing how bad the other’s attempts at Japanese were. Must have been merely a coincidence. 

“I get a nickname already?” Junhoe teased, “Movin’ a bit fast, aren’t we?”

Rather than getting flustered like Junhoe expected, Hanbin turned toward him to stick his tongue out.

“M’sure you’ve giv-given me one.”

Junhoe hummed in response, “Maybe I’ve got a few.”

Hanbin didn’t ask, he just settled back into his covers as Chunhee sat up to headbutt his jaw. He took her face between his hands, shaking it slightly as he pressed a kiss on top of her head.

“How old is she?” Junhoe asked.

“Two. Soon.”

He wondered how Hanbin was able to keep her in his dorm, definitely the reason he didn’t have a roommate.

The dog was wearing an orange vest at the café, Junhoe remembered that, but he couldn’t quite recall what it had said on the side.

He glanced over at Hanbin, finding the boy using the dog as a glorified pillow as he was back to being immersed in the movie.

Taking the chance to pull out his phone and look it up, Junhoe opened the web browser and typed in _ ‘dog orange vest’ _ into the bar.

The first several things to pop up were all about hunting, but he highly doubted that was the reason for the dog.

_ ‘Service Dog Vests: What do they mean?” _

He clicked it.

The article wasn’t that long, Junhoe skimmed through the paragraphs until he found a picture of a similar-looking vest, but in red, with SERVICE DOG printed on the side.

Junhoe backtracked, this time typing _ ‘service dog’ _ into the search bar and clicking the first link. The page he was brought to seemed to list several disabilities that would be eligible for a service dog.

_ Mobility issues _

He doubted that one, but it was always a possibility.

_ Sensory issues such as blindness or hearing loss _

Probably not, but the hearing loss could be a maybe.

_ Diabetes _

That was enough for a service dog? What could a dog do for someone with diabetes?

_ Cancer _

Doubtful.

_ Autism _

Very unlikely. Hanbin may be weird, but definitely not to that extent.

_ Epilepsy _

The seizures? Maybe.

_ Post Traumatic Stress Disorder _

Again, that seemed like one of the more likely options, given the shyness and the stuttering.

But the idea of anything happening to Hanbin that could cause something as serious as PTSD kind of…unsettled him? 

Junhoe glanced at Hanbin over the top of his phone.

The brunette was still curled around the dog, sleepily blinking at the TV, watching the movie Junhoe had given up on long ago.

There was a large, blue bird running around on the screen, and he had absolutely no idea how that happened.

Was it there earlier?

“Why is there a bird?”

Hanbin’s head flopped to the side, blearily pouting at Junhoe, “Her name’s Kevin.”

He didn’t stutter.

“Her?” Junhoe questioned, making Hanbin nod as he snuggled back into his comforter.

Chunhee stood up, stretching like a cat before leaping off the mattress to curl up on the dog bed in the corner of the room.

Hanbin pouted, “Chuuuuuuu,” he whined, “C’mback.” He rolled back over, toward Junhoe with his face smushed against his pillow, “Was warm. Sad now.”

Why did he find the half-sentences so cute? Childlike.

“Not even paying attention, ar’you?” Hanbin mumbled, even as his eyes drifted shut.

“Sorry, just not that into cartoons.”

Hanbin hummed, a sleepy noise that was far too kitten-like for someone that looked so much like a puppy.

“You’dlikeGhibli.”

“Excuse me?” Junhoe asked, snorting at how Hanbin literally couldn’t keep his eyes open long enough to see the smile on the taller male’s face.

“Ghibli. Cute.” He pulled his pillow closer to his chest, “M’cold.”

Junhoe knew that Hanbin was up most of the night, far longer than Junhoe if the half-coherent texts earlier had been any indicator. 

He also knew that Hanbin wasn’t feeling well earlier, but he seemed to be mostly fine now.

“Junai, m’sorry you di’nt like th’movie.”

Hanbin had an interesting voice, Junhoe was realizing. Now that he was able to hear it clearly and without the stuttering, it had an interesting inflection, tilts of highs and gentle lows.

A bit higher than Junhoe would have expected, a bit whinier, too. 

But it was kind of cute, and it fit him.

He wondered if Hanbin stuttered when he read, he wondered what made him stutter in the first place.

Junhoe wanted to know. More than anything. He hated not knowing things, but even his socially-inept ass knew that he would end up coming off as ignorant and insensitive.

Maybe one day he would find out. Maybe one day Hanbin would tell him.

He didn’t quite understand why he wanted to be friends with the awkward boy, but there was something different about him, something Junhoe would never have expected from their first meeting.

Hanbin looked like he was already on his way to dream-land, eyes shut and mumbling about whatever movie franchise he mentioned earlier.

It was cute.

“Next’ime, y’can pick th’movie,” Hanbin insisted, “‘Kay?”

Junhoe scoffed, even if the sound was more fond than anything, “How about Bambi?”

“Wha’s’it ‘bout?”

“Well,” he started, spinning his chair to face the bed, “It’s about a baby deer, and a bunny.”

Junhoe decided to leave out the part about Bambi’s mother getting shot—

On second thought…maybe it wasn’t the best idea to watch with Hanbin.

“Bunny? Like Jiwonnie.”

“Jiwonnie?”

“Mhm, Wonnie. Bob’bunny.”

Junhoe rolled his eyes. Jiwon must be Bobby’s Korean name.

He definitely didn’t want to watch it if Hanbin was going to be thinking about the Junior the entire time.

“Sorry,” Hanbin mumbled.

“For what?”

“Fallin’—Asleep.”

Hanbin yawned, a little squeak slipping out as he slowly blinked a few times.

“So…I should probably go, huh?” Junhoe mused, getting ready to leave when Hanbin’s hoodie-clad hand slid out from under the comforter to snag the edge of the jacket in Junhoe’s arms.

“Stay?”

Junhoe wasn’t sure what made him listen. What made him sit back down on the chair until Hanbin slowly drifted off, the hand finally dropping from his jacket.

He waited until he was sure Hanbin was asleep before standing up. But rather than leaving right away, he took the chance to survey the room.

It was neat, organized down to the pencils on Hanbin’s desk. Junhoe was sure that if he looked in the closet, everything would be sorted by color and style.

Chunhee was still staring up at him from the corner of the room, eyes blank and dark and Junhoe was more than a little creeped out.

He should leave.

After taking one last look at Hanbin, that’s exactly what Junhoe did.

Junhoe wasn’t expecting to find a friend in the shy boy with curly hair and round eyes, but he was learning Hanbin was a lot different than what he anticipated.

It was…It was nice. Something different.

Something unexpected. 

What changed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't really know what im doing anymore but someone in my cc asked for an update so here i am lol
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/MVforVictory)


	4. First Soccer Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Junhoe goes to one of Hanbin's games.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey what's up hello
> 
> juuuuuuunbiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin
> 
> that's really all i have to say
> 
> and sorry to the gc for updating when all yall asleep lol

“You might not want to do that.”

Junhoe blew out a slow breath, smoke swirling out in front of him, “Yeah? Thought you stopped trying. Why now?”

“Hanbin doesn’t like cigarette smoke,” Jinan said, trying to look innocent as she said it but the cheeky tone in her voice immediately gave away her intentions.

“And what does that have to do with me?”

Junhoe didn’t plan on stopping mid-stick, and he didn’t plan on stopping for good just because Hanbin didn’t like smoke.

Plus, he had a feeling Jinan was lying to him to get him to quit. Hanbin was perfectly fine with Bobby smelling like smoke, and weed was a hell of a lot stronger than tobacco.

Jinan seemed to pick up on his foul mood, coming to stand next to him.

“Your dad call?” 

“Yeah.”

She nodded. Junhoe took one last drag before dropping the butt on the ground and pressing the toe of his boot over it.

“We’re tied,” Jinan absentmindedly mentioned, kicking at a rock with her sneakers, “In case you wanted to know. Hanbin scored again.”

Junhoe nodded, “Good on him.”

“If it’s a bad day, you can always leave?” Jinan phrased it as a question, trying to tread carefully on the sensitive topic.

“Frankly, if he’s home, I’d rather be anywhere but there.”

“Well…” Jinan started, “At least Hanbin will be happy to see you.”

Junhoe shrugged, not really able to find it in himself to care what Hanbin thought right now, he didn’t care what anyone thought.

Well, that wasn’t true.

The prospect of disappointing Hanbin made his chest feel oddly tight, which made no sense. Junhoe just didn’t _ care _ when he got in these moods.

Jinan knew this. Jinan knew how to bitch Junhoe out of them.

Maybe he should leave.

Hanbin had convinced him to come to watch a soccer game.

Yes. Junhoe was at a soccer game.

Well, he was standing outside of their university stadium after stepping out to take a call from his father, but the fact that Hanbin got him there in the first place was already something.

Hanbin was so happy Junhoe was coming, if the excited texts earlier were anything to go by, and Junhoe was caught between two points.

If he left, Hanbin would be disappointed.

But if he stayed, he was worried about subjecting Hanbin to his foul attitude.

Hanbin was sensitive, that much was obvious, and Junhoe has already managed to make him cry. While not being in one of his _ moods. _

Junhoe didn’t know Hanbin, not like he did Jinan. But he knew he couldn’t purposefully push Hanbin’s buttons like he could with Jinan, and how he pissed her off solely for the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of her. 

He couldn’t do that with Hanbin. 

Shouldn’t do that to Hanbin. 

But—

He didn’t want to see Hanbin as fragile, as breakable. As someone he needed to sensor himself around.

Junhoe didn’t think he’d be happy with someone he couldn’t be fully himself with.

...Wait.

Why was he thinking about Hanbin in that context? 

“Junhoe? Are you okay?”

“Hmm?” 

He turned to look at Jinan, the Senior peering up at him with a pensive worry, “You spaced out for a minute.”

“Oh.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jinan said before pursing her lips, “Maybe you should go home.”

Junhoe shrugged, “Maybe I’ll leave after the game.”

Jinan gave him a smile, “Wanna stay for Hanbin, eh?”

“Shut up.”

* * *

“Oh! He’s—Is he going to make it?” Jinan leaned forward on the bleachers, cardigan fanning out around her as she watched Hanbin steal the ball with literal seconds left in the game.

Hanbin was definitely playing safe after a tackle that Junhoe actually missed while on the phone, but Jinan assured him it wasn’t too bad, now favoring his right side, and the left side of the field.

“He’s gonna get taken out again,” Junhoe mumbled, “That guy's catching up.”

The seconds counted down, they watched as Hanbin managed to line the shot up before kicking the ball right into the net. Top corner.

Putting them ahead 3-2.

It seemed as though the entire stadium jumped up, but Junhoe stayed seated as he watched Hanbin get his legs kicked out from under him from when the guy following him couldn’t stop his momentum in time.

Junhoe held his breath, even Jinan paused her cheering to watch as Hanbin slowly sat up.

The referee pulled a yellow for the guy from the opposing team, as well as declared Hanbin’s goal as on-side, and that was it. They won.

Bobby ran up from the goal, picking Hanbin up and swinging the smaller guy around a few times as the whole team started celebrating.

Yunhyeong even blew a dramatic kiss in Junhoe and Jinan’s direction.

Junhoe pretended to steal the kiss mid-air, something he didn’t even think about but it was worth it to see the smile on Hanbin’s face.

Jinan looked at him in surprise, she hadn't expected him to ever do something like that when he was feeling down, but he did it.

And that wasn’t something Junhoe cared for. He didn’t like the idea of Hanbin being the one to clear some of the dark clouds over his head.

Junhoe…Junhoe _ liked _ the dark clouds.

Well, maybe _ liked _ was the right word. They were comfortable. Something he was used to. The longest-running constant in his life.

“June?”

Right, he was still in public.

“Yeah?” He turned to the much shorter girl, trying to ignore the worry in her eyes, “The game’s over.”

“Oh.”

Junhoe looked around to see a majority of the students already on their way out, or at least flocking in their own groups.

The soccer team was in their own huddle on the field, Hanbin in leader-mode as Bobby stood grinning next to him, an arm over the younger’s shoulders.

They looked good together, as much as Junhoe hated to admit it.

Hanbin always looked relaxed with Bobby nearby, like Bobby was his safe place.

Junhoe wondered if Hanbin stuttered around Bobby, when it was just them, or how he was when talking to the team.

He almost couldn’t believe that the stuttery, awkward person he met at the café was the same person barking orders out during the game.

“Hey,” Jinan shook his shoulder, “Let’s go meet the guys.”

“Right,” Junhoe dully responded, “Let’s go.”

He let Jinan lead him to the steps, weaving through the people still loitering in the bleachers to make his way to the fence separating them and the track surrounding the field.

“Babe!”

Yunhyeong jogged over to them before he picked Jinan up, hands under her thighs as she shrieked and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“We won,” he giggled as he spun them around, “Did you see me take down that defender? He was _ huge, _I swear.” Yunhyeong let Jinan down but never removed his hands from her waist, “I know he might not have looked that big, but he was.”

“Yeah, it was kind of hot, I guess.”

Jinan giggled, and that was when Junhoe decided that, _ No. He did not want to see them eye fuck each other. _

So he turned around to get away from the sight, but was met with something even worse.

“Hey,” Hanbin smiled at him.

For a second, Junhoe felt like he couldn’t breathe.

Here Hanbin was, standing in front of him in his ugly orange and black jersey with sweat dripping down his face and all Junhoe could really think was _ ‘Fuck, I’m so gay.’ _

Yet all he managed to say back was, “Don’t come near me until you’ve showered.”

Hanbin, thankfully, took it as the joke Junhoe was aiming for, and just smiled back.

“You—A-Are you coming out? With us?”

Junhoe just didn’t have the heart to say no to him.

Not when Hanbin was panting in front of him, too-baggy jersey covering his heaving chest and Junhoe just couldn’t help but follow the one line of sweat that started running down his neck.

And of course, couldn’t forget the beast at his feet.

Chunhee was finally back with her person, but she wasn’t jumping all over Hanbin like a normal dog would. Instead, she was calmly sat at his feet, bright orange vest matching Hanbin’s jersey almost perfectly.

This was the first time he’s seen in Hanbin in something other than a hoodie.

“Yeah,” he tried to smile back, “Maybe for a bit.”

Hanbin brightened up even more, but Junhoe noticed how his eyes followed the trail of his teammates as they went back to the locker room.

He turned to where Hanbin was looking, finding Bobby making a fool of himself as he started swinging his shirt in the air and yelling about how he was the _ ‘Greatest motherfuckin’ goalie in the world.’ _

Even as there was still blood dripping out of his nose from the ball he blocked with his face.

“Well, I’ll leave you to—,” Junhoe nodded towards the group heading off the field, but Hanbin only shook his head.

“N-No, it’s—uh—o-okay,” Hanbin stuttered, raising his hands up to keep Junhoe from leaving, “I’m—I—I’ll just go—go in after.”

Junhoe caught the wince Hanbin let out when he did that, and he didn’t even think about how much worse Hanbin’s speech got after mentioning that, instead, narrowing his eyes at the way Hanbin was standing.

“You got kicked pretty hard.”

“Tackled,” Hanbin corrected, “I got—That’s how the—how the game works.”

“Right, tackled. You got _ tackled _ pretty hard,” Junhoe deadpanned, “Is…everything okay…?”

He took a step forward, but frowned when Hanbin backed up as soon as Junhoe got within 15 centimeters.

Hanbin’s nose scrunched up, “Smoke?”

How had Hanbin smelt that? 

“Uh, yeah,” Junhoe mumbled. “Sorry.”

“S’okay,” Hanbin mumbled right back.

_ Aaaaaaaaand, _it was awkward again.

Hanbin gave him another smile that was barely more than a cringe before gesturing to the locker room, “Gonna shower now.”

“Yeah. You do that.”

Junhoe mentally face-palmed when Hanbin turned to jog back to the locker room, not quite understanding just how poorly they meshed together when not texting. 

The sound of Jinan’s cackling brought him out of his little misery pool. Junhoe whipped around to see the girl practically in tears at the exchange.

Junhoe huffed, “It’s not funny.”

“It’s kind of funny. Here, catch.”

He barely caught the pack of gum that Jinan tossed to him.

“Thanks,” he muttered.

“I’m thinking we go out to eat, and meet Donghyuk there,” Jinan pulled a small hand-mirror out of her purse to wipe at any eyeliner smudged under her eyes, “Chanwoo won’t be able to make it until after, but that wouldn’t matter if we just go to our place for drinks.”

Truthfully, Junhoe didn’t feel like doing any of that.

He didn’t want to go home, but he didn’t want to have to put up with anyone.

Jinan’s phone buzzed from where it was in Junhoe’s jacket pocket, and he pulled it out to hand it to her.

But not before catching Hanbin’s name on the screen.

“Bobby texted…” She mumbled, “Wonder why.”

She unlocked her phone and Junhoe watched as she skimmed the message, eyebrows furrowing a bit more with each word.

“What’s up?”

He tried to sound uninterested but couldn’t help the inflection in his tone, yet it didn’t even seem like Jinan noticed.

“Hmm?” She didn’t bother looking up, “Oh, nothing.”

“It’s not nothing.”

So much for sounding uninterested.

“Bobby just said Hanbin might not go, is all.”

“Why?”

Jinan shrugged, “Said he has a headache.”

Hanbin was the sole reason Junhoe would even think about going.

“I’m thinking about leaving too,” he said, running a hand over his face to rub his eyes, “Still feeling kind of off.”

Which wasn’t a lie. Junhoe could feel a headache of his own wanting to start, and he didn’t really feel like pushing it too much with the human interaction.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t blame you.”

Junhoe still found himself waiting until the three guys walked out of the locker room, all out of their uniforms and hair damp from the showers, the last ones out.

Bobby had an arm around Hanbin’s shoulders as Yunhyeong was animatedly talking with his hands, but the boy in between them looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

“Are you coming, Bin?” Jinan asked once the group merged again, “Donghyuk’s already got us a table at your favorite pizza place.”

The visible effect just the word ‘pizza’ had on Hanbin was…something.

_ Okay. It was adorable. _

His eyes lit up and his cheeks puffed out. It was adorable and Junhoe hated his stupid face.

“So, you in?”

Hanbin was about to nod when Bobby leaned to whisper something in his ear, but the younger gave him a dismissive half-shrug in lieu of speaking.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Jinan clapped her hands together before turning to Junhoe, “What will it be?”

“Whatever.”

  


Of course, he went.

* * *

“Hey, you feeling okay?”

This time the words weren’t directed at him, but rather, Junhoe was the one saying them.

Hanbin gave a minuscule nod of his head, but didn’t bother raising it from where he had it resting on his palm.

“You haven’t touched your pizza,” Jinan whined, “The whole reason we came here was for you and you’re not even eating it.”

“Jinan, not now,” Bobby said before turning back to Hanbin, “We can leave, do you want to leave?”

When Hanbin looked up, his eyes looked…lost.

But he shook his head, probably not wanting to make Bobby leave.

Not when Jisoo was meant to be coming in just minutes.

“I think I’m gonna head out,” Junhoe said, making an exaggerated effort of cracking his knuckles and stretching over the back of the chair, “Hanbin, if you want to go, I can drop you off?”

“You sure, man?” Bobby asked, “You don’t have too—”

“It’s fine, really. It’s on the way,” Junhoe found himself assuring.

“Didn’t you take your bike today?” Jinan asked.

“You ride your bike in?” Donghyuk snorted, “Cute.”

Junhoe glared at Jinan, “Not a bike. Motorcycle, and no. I drove today.” He ignored Donghyuk gawking over what he just said to look to Hanbin, but not before softening his glare, “It’s on the way back,” he repeated.

Hanbin gave him another tiny nod, not meeting Junhoe’s eyes as he looped Chunhee’s leash and put one arm through to loop it over his head. 

“Text me when you get back,” Bobby let his arm fall from Hanbin’s shoulders, “Be safe.”

It was strange seeing the pot-head so calm, but he always seemed like that when Hanbin seemed ‘not okay.’ Junhoe supposed Hanbin had that effect on people.

Himself included, somehow.

“C’mon, Bin,” Junhoe found himself saying, and he reached a hand out to Hanbin as Jinan sent him more than one suggestive look.

Hanbin pulled the sleeve of his hoodie past his fingertips to grab the cuff of Junhoe’s jacket, no skin-on-skin contact but still almost holding hands.

He’s never called him ‘Bin’ before, now that he thought about it.

Junhoe led Hanbin out of the pizza parlor, the dog garnering a few stares but none from the employees, meaning Hanbin probably visited the place somewhat regularly.

“Will she be okay in the car?” Junhoe questioned, “Because I just got my seats cleaned.”

He didn’t really think about how snarky that came off until after it was out, but thankfully Hanbin just gave him a wobbly smile and another nod.

“Not gonna talk?”

And then the smile was gone.

“That’s okay,” Junhoe quickly backtracked, “That’s fine.”

He unlocked the car and Hanbin bent down and unzipped the side pouch of Chunhee’s harness to pull out a pair of sunglasses and hastily shoving them on his face.

Junhoe didn’t question it, never mind the fact that the sun was almost done setting and it would be dark soon.

Junhoe opened the door and Chunhee immediately jumped in with no ushering from either of them.

“Your dog listens better than any of the other jackasses back in that place,” Junhoe joked as he then opened the door for Hanbin.

He climbed in after, putting his key in the ignition and starting the car without another word.

Except the radio was on.

And turned up. A lot.

Junhoe jumped at the noise, which did nothing for his headache, and he scrambled to turn the volume down as fast as he could but the damage had already been done.

“Shit, sorry about that,” Junhoe said before turning to Hanbin, not expecting to see him with his hands over his ears and face tucked into his knees.

He didn’t care about Hanbin’s shoes on his newly cleaned seats, he didn’t care about the fucking dog climbing between the seats to get to Hanbin.

“Hanbin?”

Junhoe tried to reach a hand out but Chunhee _ growled _at him and he yanked his hand away to watch the dog wiggle her way over the console. Her tail smacked him in the face but Junhoe leaned forward to try and get a view of Hanbin past the wall of fur.

Was it Hanbin’s headache? 

Fuck, Junhoe felt like shit. More ways than one.

“Hanbin?”

No surprise, Hanbin didn’t answer, but he did wave his hand over at the wheel as Chunhee all but climbed into his lap.

“You—You want me to drive?” Junhoe asked, getting a nod in response, “Okay, yeah. Okay.”

He put the car in drive and tried to focus on actually doing _ that, _but it was hard when his thoughts were occupied by Hanbin and the little noises he kept making into Chunhee’s fur.

They were only driving for a few minutes when Hanbin dropped the seat back to curl on his side, which only made Junhoe want to look at him more.

So he risked another brief glance.

Hanbin was visibly shaking. Junhoe was panicking.

He wasn’t able to see his face, not with the way Chunhee was laying almost on top of Hanbin.

_ Panic attack? _

Hanbin was shaking, yes, and Junhoe could hear his breathing over the engine, sure, but it didn’t seem like the textbook panic attack.

There was no hyperventilating, just Hanbin’s purposeful breathing and him toying with the metal tags on Chunhee’s collar.

But, Junhoe didn’t know the most about panic attacks. They couldn’t all be the same? With the crying and not being able to breathe. 

And what was the difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack?

Was it safe to assume Hanbin had anxiety? It fit with everything Junhoe had noticed so far.

No, assumptions were never good. He shouldn’t assume.

Even if it made sense.

Maybe Hanbin was already feeling anxious and the radio scared him?

He was always left with more questions every time he met Hanbin.

“Hanbin? We’re here?”

Junhoe refrained from touching Hanbin, kept his voice low in hopes of not spooking him but he still didn’t know the problem.

And now he had a problem of his own drumming at his temples.

Junhoe got out of the car to circle around to Hanbin’s side, opening the door to come face-to-face with the dog standing over the shorter boy.

“Ahh. D-Down, doggy,” Junhoe put his hands up and waited for Chunhee to jump out of the car. “Hanbin?”

Hanbin turned to face Junhoe, fluffy hair now hidden under his hood and eyes visible after Chunhee knocked his sunglasses to the floor.

Bending down to pick them up, Junhoe stilled as Hanbin jerked back against the center console.

Junhoe sat back, slowly, raising his hands up in much the same with Chunhee.

_ Shit. The dog. _

The dog that was patiently sat on the sidewalk when Junhoe looked. 

“Okay…We should get to your dorm,” Junhoe mumbled, trying to figure out the best way to go about it. Carrying Hanbin seemed out of the question, but Junhoe had no fucking clue what was even happening.

Chunhee nudged him out of the way to put her paws up on Hanbin’s chair to lift herself in, the clip of the leash dangling out of her mouth, which Hanbin reached out for.

For a second, Junhoe was a little affronted that a _ dog _ could do more for Hanbin than he could, but then he realized that he was getting jealous over a dog for absolutely no reason.

It was a dog.

Junhoe was getting jealous over a dog that was literally trained to do this.

Said dog helped pull Hanbin out of the car, leading him to the entrance of the door building and leaving Junhoe to lock his car and scramble to catch up.

Why? Who knows.

He didn’t really need to follow Hanbin up to his room, but leaving now seemed like a bad idea.

And, truthfully, he was curious as hell.

So he jogged in front of the pair to press his ID card against the reader, and that’s when he noticed he was still holding Hanbin’s sunglasses. He debated holding them out but Hanbin’s gaze was focused on the ground, so he decided not to bother.

Junhoe held the door when it popped, but Hanbin only started moving when Chunhee did, so Junhoe just waited before following behind. 

“Do you have your keys?” He asked once they made it to Hanbin’s room.

Hanbin nodded, unclipping the set from his belt loop to hold out for Junhoe to grab and unlock the door.

He watched as Hanbin stepped in before rushing to the bathroom once he dropped Chunhee’s leash.

Feeling in way over his head, Junhoe did the only thing he could think to do in this situation and pulled out his phone to text Jinan.

_ ‘Hey,’ _ he didn’t even know what to send, _ ‘We got to the dorms but Hanbin won’t talk. What the fuck am I doing.’ _

_ ‘You’re being a good boyfriend.’ _

_ ‘I’m serious. I don’t know what’s wrong.’ _

_ ‘The headaches are normal for him, but maybe you should text Bobby. _

_ He left with Jisoo a few minutes ago.’ _

Junhoe copied the number Jinan sent him before pasting it in and typing out a new message.

Hanbin walked in when he was mid-word, didn’t say anything, didn’t even look at Junhoe. Just climbed in his bed to curl up under the covers.

_ ‘Bobby? It’s Junhoe.’ _

_ ‘hey! everything okay? _

_ bin okay?’ _

_ ‘Not sure. Won’t talk to me.’ _

_ ‘ahhh okay. just _

_ don’t play anything on the tv or music or whatever _

_ don’t force him to talk _

_ and definitely don’t touch him unless he asks’ _

What the fuck was he getting himself into? Couldn’t he just leave?

Junhoe felt like he was in way over his head, and he texted Bobby as much.

_ ‘thats fine man. you can leave if you wanna _

_ I can be there in 5’ _

Well, he _ could _ stay.

There were no classes tomorrow, and it wasn’t like anyone at home would even notice he wasn’t there.

Okay. So he’ll stay.

_ Just _ until he was sure Hanbin was okay.

“Ju-Jun’ai?”

“Yeah?”

Hanbin didn’t answer, just shifted so he was laying closer to the wall.

Did he want Junhoe to come sit on the bed? 

What else would Hanbin have meant?

Junhoe slowly made his way over, but not before flipping the light switch and kicking his boots off. He settled in even slower, still on top of the covers, Hanbin’s back just barely touching the side of his leg.

It was getting late, and Junhoe was tired.

So he couldn’t really be blamed for falling asleep.

  


The next morning, he was woken up by his phone blowing up with notifications from Jinan, and Chunhee knocking her head into his jaw.

Junhoe tried not to groan as he sat up, cracking his jaw before something caught his attention.

Of course, that ‘something’ happened to be Hanbin, snuggled half into his pillow and half into his dog.

The covers had shifted sometime during the night, Hanbin’s face no longer covered, and one leg over them.

And, _ of course, _he wasn’t wearing pants again.

With barely more than a hastily scribbled note—

Junhoe was out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave comments and kudos i love reading them
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/MVforVictory)


	5. First Night Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Junhoe stays the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lads, been a minute or two eh? Lmao
> 
> Soz for the wait, I got really sick last week and was dead lol didnt write ANYTHING the whole time haha
> 
> Figured I’d make it a little better with an update that kinda ran away from me, hitting just over 8k when these were only meant to be like 4 at most but WHOOPS

“You won!”

Junhoe spun around, breathing heavy as he caught sight of Hanbin jumping over the barrier while Chu barked in the audience, leash wrapped around Yunhyeong’s hand.

He was just barely able to catch Hanbin when he stumbled slightly on the raised edge, sending him tumbling into Junhoe’s arms as he started wildly giggling. 

Oh.

Shit.

“Hey!” Junhoe giggled, fucking _ giggled, _ as he spun Hanbin around with his hands on the other’s hips in response to the pair of arms hooked around his shoulders.

He barely had the time to think about how his hands could span most of Hanbin’s waist when something crashed into his back, knocking him forward and almost counter-balancing against Hanbin’s weight.

The _ something _ that crashed into him was actually a _ someone. _ Jinan was nearly as out of breath as Junhoe was, if only a little better due to her match ending a few minutes ago.

“Holy shit, June!” Jinan punched his back as she said it, “You _ freakin’ _ won, dude! Like, the whole thing!”

_ Oh, god. _Jinan was right. Junhoe won. 

He won?

_ He won. _

“Oh, my god,” Junhoe breathed out as Hanbin detached himself from the taller male’s front, standing back just far enough to meet Junhoe’s eyes, “I won.”

He won.

He was going to Nationals?

_ He was fucking going to Nationals. _

Hanbin’s grin grew wider, and Junhoe could only let out another disbelieving chuckle when their eyes stayed locked. Maybe for the longest time yet.

Deep, dark brown eyes. Messy, curly hair.

Beautiful.

Hanbin was beautiful.

And Junhoe didn’t really know what to do with the fact, other than accept it. 

“Congratulations,” Hanbin whispered. No stutter and smile brighter than Junhoe had ever seen it, and he truly had no response for it. 

Jinan’s voice was background noise, everything became fuzzy and unclear and Junhoe felt like he was underwater. 

He didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Thanks,” Junhoe whispered right back before coughing awkwardly and stepping away, trying not to focus too much on the way Hanbin’s face fell ever so slightly.

What was happening to him?

He didn’t know. He didn’t like it.

“Hey!” Yunhyeong shouted. Junhoe was thankful for the distraction and an excuse not to look at Hanbin’s confused Bambi eyes.

The Junior jogged over to their small group, alongside Chanwoo and Chunhee, to come to a stop in front of them.

“Congrats, man,” Yunhyeong clapped Junhoe on the back after handing Chunhee’s leash to Hanbin, “I knew you could do it.”

Junhoe smiled his thanks, but Jinan was a little less appreciative, “Yeah, and what about your girlfriend, huh?”

“You were really good too!”

“And how would you know?” Chanwoo snorted, “You were on the phone the entire time. Texting _ Nayeon.” _

Jinan raised an eyebrow, which was somehow just as intimidating as normal, even without the makeup darkening them. “Why were you texting Nayeon?”

“We’re leaders for a project in our culinary course,” Yunhyeong raised his hands in a placating manor, “We have to meet up and were trying to work out a time and place.”

“Right,” Jinan mumbled, “Doesn’t she live off campus? Are you going to her place?”

Yunhyeong hesitated, and Junhoe almost felt bad for the guy, “Yeah, that’s probably going to be the plan.”

Sharing a look with Hanbin, Junhoe decided that this wasn’t exactly how he wanted to celebrate his win, listening to the two older students bicker over how Yunhyeong’s attention is always on something (or someone) else.

Junhoe felt sort of bad for the both of them. Jinan was naturally more high-maintenance, but she was also incredibly understanding of personal or work-life situations. So this must have been building for some time…

Not to mention that Yunhyeong was one of the most self-sacrificial people Junhoe knew, and he’s only been in cahoots with the guy for a few months. He quickly learned that Yunhyeong would do anything to make Jinan happy, even Hanbin and Chanwoo, who were his pseudo-baby brothers.

“Hey, man,” another member of the team pulled Junhoe away from the pair, “Small get together at my place. We’ll call it a celebration for our wins and Jinan-noona’s.”

Junhoe nodded at Jackson as the Senior bounded away to the next group to notify them of his “small get together,” which Jackson’s parties were anything _ but. _

“So, I’m guessing you’re not planning on going?” Junhoe asked Hanbin, but the shorter Sophomore only looked down at his dog before raising an eyebrow, “Yeah, yeah. Don’t look at me like that. I was just wondering.”

Hanbin only laughed at him, “Not r-r-really my—my thing. Yeah…” he trailed off, giving Junhoe another shy smile before a look of worry blanketed his expression at a particularly sharp sounding scoff from their token noona.

“Whatever,” Jinan cut off any argument Yunhyeong was trying to make, both Chanwoo and Hanbin awkwardly trying not to interrupt them but looking like they wanted to be anywhere but here.

Junhoe rolled his eyes, “Guys,” he tried, only succeeding in turning Chanwoo and Hanbin’s startled gazes to him. “Hey! C’mon, not the time and place for this.”

The two then seemed to notice just how uncomfortable they were making everyone, Hanbin especially, as they shared a look between them.

Junhoe would bet money that it meant ‘We’ll finish arguing later and then have really mushy make-up sex.’

Barf.

“Well,” Junhoe hesitantly started, “I’m gonna go to the party. Chanwoo?”

The youngest of their newly formed group nodded.

“Lit. What about you two?” Junhoe asked the pair.

“Of course.”

“I guess?”

Jinan turned to glare at Yunhyeong, the Junior cowering back slightly. 

Junhoe could only shake his head. “Do you need a ride home?” He asked Hanbin.

He noticed that he was taking his car a lot more than his motorcycle, just in the chance that _ someone _ needed a ride. 

No one specific. Just anyone. Yeah.

“No, but th-thank you.”

There was something about Hanbin’s smile. 

“Okay,” Junhoe tried to sound as normal as possible, even when his heart was doing flips in his chest for absolutely no reason, “I guess I’ll…see you later?”

“Okay.”

* * *

Junhoe was bored.

Actually, bored was an understatement.

His body was physically exhausted after the tournament, but the two energy drinks he’s been sipping on in lieu of alcohol were doing enough to keep him awake that he wasn’t worried about dozing off in a random room of Jackson and Mark’s shared condo.

Not to mention the loud music and constant chatter.

It’s been a while since Junhoe has been in this situation, made even stranger after getting so used to the quiet meet-ups with Hanbin in their free time.

He could still count their solo meetings on both hands, but each one was a new experience, and each one Junhoe learned something new about Hanbin.

Like how his favorite color was red, but pink was a close second. Or how he hated ice cream unless he was in a certain mood. Chunhee’s name was picked out by Hanbin’s little sister because she thought the dog was a boy, and they just kept it since it’s unisex, anyway. 

He even noticed himself behaving differently occasionally, such as taking his bike to school less, even though the weather was perfect for it. Or switching detergents and avoiding colognes that were overly fragrant because Hanbin made an offhand comment once about them. 

And, much unlike him, Junhoe found himself sharing little things like that right back. Hanbin knew trivial details about him, things like his hatred for any first person shooter game, even though he was pretty good at them. Hanbin knew about his love for old-school style arcades and arcade games, or how he used to have hair down to his shoulders in high school.

Hanbin said he knew how to braid because of his little sister. 

Junhoe actually debated growing his hair out again.

Even though he looked back on those pictures now and regret every decision from that era of his life.

Especially the black nail polish.

The thought actually made him shiver.

Thankfully, he was pulled away from that _ dark _ time in his life by his phone vibrating, showing a message from _ Bambi. _

_ ithinkifellasleep _

_ butcantremember _

_ sos _

He was probably working on his Music Theory project. Idiot.

Hanbin refused to show Junhoe any of his work, but he’d heard enough from Jinan to know that he was good. 

Junhoe just wanted to find that out for himself.

_ What do you mean you can’t remember? _

_ thereismusicinfrontofme _

_ butidonotremembermakingit _

_ anditisnthorrible?? _

_ Well, that’s good. Right? _

_ I’m bored. _

_ sucksbud _

_ partiessuck _

_ Yeah, they do. _

_ I’m gonna go to the park. _

_ Meet me there? _

_ now??? _

_ Yes. _

_ hmmmmm _

_ fine _

Well, that was settled.

Junhoe was going to the park, and Hanbin was going to meet him there.

He should probably tell Jinan and Yunhyeong, considering he volunteered to be the designated driver for the night, that he planned on leaving.

Finding them took a few minutes, mainly because the couple wasn’t actually together. Yunhyeong was with Youngjae and Jinyoung from his culinary program, looking defeated and more than a little tipsy as he ranted about his projects.

“—And Jinan keeps hounding me for not spending time with her, but when it comes to her capstones, it’s a different story!” Yunhyeong pouted, “How’s that fair?”

Youngjae, ever the sweetheart and having consumed significantly less alcohol than the other Junior, tried to placate him, “I think you two just need to talk it out between yourselves—”

“Sorry to interrupt,” Junhoe said, not sorry in the slightest, “But I’m gonna head out, are you planning on staying?”

Yunhyeong turned the pout up at him and Junhoe wanted to gag. Only Hanbin was allowed to pout at him like that.

“I’ll come with you,” Yunhyeong gave Youngjae and a barely-conscious Jinyoung dual fistbumbs before wabbling over to Junhoe, “Jinan coming?”

“Dunno yet. Still have to find her.”

And, _ oh, _ find her they did.

Dancing on a pool table while Jackson and Jooheon attempted to play around her. Junhoe knew all three of the Seniors had grown up together and were incredibly close, but Yunhyeong still deflated slightly at the sight of his girlfriend having so much fun with the two.

“Jinan.” Junhoe called, “We’re gonna leave. You gonna come with?”

She dropped to his knees at the edge of the table, almost falling forward had Jooheon not steadied her, “What d’ya mean you’re leaving? Aren’t you having fuuuun?”

Shrugging, Junhoe swung his keys around his finger, “Not really, parties aren’t really my thing. And I’m gonna go meet Hanbin at the park,” he said. “If you want to stay, you’re either staying the night or finding a different ride home.”

Jinan pouted at him exactly like Yunhyeong had—Which, gross—but Junhoe was too tired and too socially spent to put up with this. 

“So?”

“Fine, fine,” Jinan relented, “I’ll come. But can I come to the park with you and Hanbin-ah?”

Again with the puppy-eyes. God _ damn. _

Junhoe couldn’t catch a damn break, could he?

“Whatever,” Junhoe sighed, “I don’t care.”

He did care. Just a little.

He was looking forward to spending some time with Hanbin, _ alone, _ and he felt that Yunhyeong and Jinan needed a night apart before talking whatever problems they were having out. 

But, no. That would be too easy, and drunk Jinan wanted to coo over her _ precious Hanbinnie. _

“C’mon. Get to steppin’,” Junhoe pulled Jinan closer to him and away from Jooheon in an attempt to make Yunhyeong less sulky,

She stumbled slightly. Yunhyeong made the move to steady her but Jinan just stuck her tongue out at her boyfriend and dramatically marched off to where Junhoe parked his car.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the eldest?” Junhoe mumbled to himself, slightly taken aback by the childish nature.

He turned to Yunhyeong before awkwardly looping an arm over the elder’s shoulders, “Hey, buddy…How’s it goin’?”

“S’goin’ good, I guess,” Yunhyeong shrugged, dejected, “But Ji is still mad at me.”

“The _ Nayeon _ thing?”

Yunhyeong sighed, “Yeah, but Chanwoo wasn’t being fair. It wasn’t _ just _ Nayeon, it was a groupchat with Youngjae, Minhyun, Yuta, and Wheein.”

“So, a majority of your Japanese Cuisine class?” Junhoe asked, “And Jinan wouldn’t listen?”

“No,” the Junior shook his head, “I tried showing her the messages but she went off with Jackson almost immediately after the match.”

“Yikes. Well, I wish you luck, man.”

Junhoe knew exactly how Jinan could be, but he also knew where she was coming from with the insecurities, he understood.

Jinan had once shared with him her experience with being cheated on when Junhoe was in a bad place Freshman year. 

Misery loves company.

“Give her tonight to blow off some steam, and then talk to her tomorrow,” Junhoe advised, “Don’t let her patronize you, and don’t let her walk off in the middle of an argument.”

“Thanks, man.”

-

“HANBINNIE!”

“Jinan! Shhhhhh!”

One awkward car ride and a quick stop at McDonald’s later, Jinan jumped out of the car to race after the lone figure sat on the bench.

Junhoe wasn’t even able to tell if it was the right person until Jinan had already startled him.

Chunhee jumped off of the bench, barking and jumping at Jinan until Hanbin whistled, calming the dog almost instantly as she dropped back to his feet.

If only Jinan would calm like that too, but instead she only got more excitable.

“Hanbin-ahhhh,” Jinan pulled the younger into a hug, almost hanging off of him and completely disregarding the harsh flinch back Hanbin gave at the touch.

Junhoe decided to attempt to reign the girl in, trying to give the obviously uncomfortable Hanbin some reprieve from Jinan’s screeching.

“C’mon, Squeaky,” he tried to separate the two but only succeeded in making Jinan latch on even tighter, “Let go, you little devil.”

“Noooooo,” Jinan whined, “My Hanbinnieeeeeee. Never get to hug’im.”

Well, there was the fact that Hanbin obviously didn’t like being touched, but drunk Jinan didn’t seem to care very much about personal boundaries and continued to squeeze.

Before Junhoe could even try again to detach them, Chunhee shoved her way in between their legs to push up and out on Jinan’s thighs with her front paws. Jinan stumbled back slightly in surprise, but Junhoe was able to catch her before she could really take the tumble. 

Hanbin shot him a grateful look as soon as she was off of him, but the tense set of his shoulders never left. There was a permanent cringe on his face, likely from the smell of alcohol permeating his personal space now, but it was taken over by a questioning raise of his eyebrow.

Junhoe wondered when he learned what the little twitch of Hanbin’s nose and slight furrow of his eyebrows meant, or what command followed two clicks of his tongue to get Chunhee’s attention.

He knew there were so many more little things to learn about Hanbin, maybe some things he would never expect, but Junhoe found himself curious.

Curious, and surprised at himself and just how willing he was to find these things out.

“Jinan got drunk,” Junhoe answered Hanbin’s silent inquiry, even though it was pretty obvious.

It was followed by another small nose twitch and Hanbin’s eyes flicking to his lips, lingering for a second before drifting to his eyes and finally falling to Chunhee.

“No, I didn’t drink.”

Hanbin gave a tiny smile, Junhoe wanted to think it was caused by him.

He added that to the mental list of things he knew about Hanbin. _ Does not like the smell of alcohol. _

That was fine with Junhoe. He preferred not to drink, too scared of being as off-the-rails as his parents could be.

He was brought from his thoughts (and probably a blank stare) by Yunhyeong attempting to gently pull his girlfriend away, but Jinan wasn’t letting go without a fight.

“Get off before you fuck my shirt up,” Junhoe tried to move her away from his chest, where she was probably smudging her makeup all over his black shirt.

Jinan finally let go—And, _ yup, _ left a mark—before tumbling into Yunhyeong, only to scoff in his face and attempting to dramatically saunter (read: waddle) away.

“You still have keyboard lines on your face.”

Hanbin’s eyes widened as they flicked up to Junhoe’s, he lifted a hand to his face to try and find the marks but was met with nothing but the green panda bandaid on his left cheek.

He pouted up at Junhoe for a few seconds, eyes locked, before lunging forward to pull Junhoe forward by his already-stretched t-shirt.

Hanbin was getting better at keeping eye contact, and Junhoe almost wanted to bring it up but knew it would only make Hanbin flustered and self-conscious, so he didn’t.

Junhoe also knew not to bring up Hanbin’s silence. He was learning that sometimes Hanbin did that, it wasn’t just to Junhoe. Even Bobby had warned him not to force the other Sophomore to speak when he didn’t want to.

“Where are we going?” Junhoe asked the boy still pulling him forward, even knowing he wouldn’t receive a response.

He was pulled to a different bench, one a fair few meters away from the one Hanbin had been sat on, likely to put some distance between them and the arguing couple.

Hanbin pushed him down before following, taking the seat next to them as he called Chunhee to sit in front of him. Unclipping her harness, Hanbin picked up a discarded stick near his feet to throw as they watched the dog sprint off to catch it.

She trotted back to the pair, stick in mouth, before dropping it in front of Junhoe’s feet.

He raised an eyebrow at her, “What do you want me to do with this?”

Chunhee only sat back to drop her head onto her front paws as she stared up at him.

“You want me to throw it?”

_ Blink. _

“It’s probably covered in dog drool.”

_ Blink. Blink blink. _

“Fine.”

He was talking to a dog. 

Like it was a person.

Whatever.

Junhoe threw the stick as far as he could, watching the dog speed off after it. 

It was the first time he was seeing her without the harness. In public, at least. 

He wondered when the dog changed from an _ ‘it’ _ to a _ ‘she.’ _ Or when Hanbin’s little giggle became such a melodious sound to him.

This continued on for a few minutes, Hanbin and Junhoe alternating between throwing the stick and playing tug-o-war with the German Shepherd.

She gave a happy yip when Hanbin dug around in the zipper side on her harness to pull out a small baggie of treats.

Hanbin made the noise back at her, and Junhoe hated how he had no control over the smile that split his face.

The dog was staring intently at Hanbin’s hand. The other boy turned to smile at Junhoe before facing Chunhee again, pointing down towards the ground with the hand holding the treat as the dog sat.

He made a little ‘shoo-ing’ motion twice making Chunhee back up a few steps. 

Maybe Junhoe was a _ little _ impressed.

Hanbin pointed to the ground again before gesturing lower, palm facing down. Chunhee seemed to take this as ‘lay down’ and she did just that.

Hanbin smiled at him again.

_ Look at this. _

He made a little swirly motion and Chunhee fucking _ rolled over, _ looking like she was having the time of her stupid, little doggy-life.

She probably was, seeing how her tail was wagging at hyperspeed at the treat in Hanbin’s hand.

Junhoe was handed one next, “What do you want me to do with this?” He asked, but Hanbin only gave him a smile and little nod towards Chunhee.

What tricks did she even know?

“Uh…Speak?”

_ Bark. _ Instant regret. _ BARK. BARKBARK. _

Junhoe panicked, “Shhhhhhhhh. Quiet, doggy. It’s very, very late.”

Chunhee gave another bark, like she was _ taunting _him, and Junhoe looked to Hanbin in panic but the smaller boy only laughed and guided his hand by the sleeve down to level the treat with the dog.

Junhoe cringed as she took it from him, expecting to feel spit or teeth on his hand, but she took the treat incredibly gently.

Huh. 

And then, to make his situation even more dire, Hanbin _ yawned. _Everything kind of slowed down when Hanbin’s head dropped onto his shoulder, Junhoe genuinely tried not to tense up and scare Hanbin off. 

He honestly had no idea what to do.

Hanbin was leaning against his shoulder and Chunhee was sat in front of them, just staring. Actually looking like she was mocking him.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Junhoe quietly hissed, “It’s _ weird.” _

Nevermind the fact that he was talking to a dog.

Junhoe decided that he’d wait a few minutes before taking Hanbin back to the dorms.

It was funny, he usually hated being the one to drive people places, and it was almost always him as he lived off campus and always had his car. It was one of the reasons he bought a motorcycle, just so he’d have an excuse not to give people (Jinan) rides.

But he found that he didn’t mind it that much when it came to Hanbin. Probably because Hanbin didn’t ask anything of him. Junhoe just gave.

-

“Junhoe! Tell Yunhyeong that I’m right!”

“Shhhhh!” Junhoe tried to quiet Jinan for the second time, but the damage had already been done and Hanbin jumped away from him, snapping awake.

Junhoe mourned the warmth. He glared at the still-stumbling girl but she paid that no mind.

“Jinan, calm down,” Junhoe chastised, “It’s almost midnight and we’re technically on Campus. Don’t fucking get us caught.”

She rolled her eyes, “It’s _ fine, _ don’t have a cow. Now tell Yunhyeong I’m right!”

“Jinan,” Yunhyeong tried to cut in, “Can’t we talk about this tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow? Before or after your date with _ Nayeon?” _

“It’s not a date!” He argued back, “We’re both heads for the committee and we have to coordinate what we’re doing for the festival coming up. It is _ not _ a date.”

“Yeah, well isn’t Minhyun a head too? Why isn’t he gonna be there?”

Yunhyeong looked visibly shocked, “His grandma died? Remember?”

“Well,” Jinan said, not willing to back down, even though she had been arguing for almost an hour now, “Why can’t Youngjae step in?”

“He’s—He’s busy!”

“Yeah? Him and Yuta both? And everyone else?”

“Jinan, it’s not that big of a deal!”

Junhoe groaned, reaching his hands up to yank at his hair in frustration, “Can you guys shut up?”

They both ignored him, continuing with their arguing with zero care in the fucking world _ for _ the world.

He was surprised at the sudden weight against back but he almost instantly knew it was Hanbin and something was about to go very wrong.

“Guys—”

“You better not tell me to shut up again,” Jinan sneered.

Junhoe groaned again in frustration, ready to snap at her but was quickly pulled away from that option when Hanbin made a quiet noise against his back, fingers tightening in the back of his jacket. 

He strained his ears to try and hear what Hanbin was mumbling against the leather, but the only thing he could really make out was a repeated mantra of _ ‘don’tyelldon’tyelldon’tyell.’ _

His heart honestly hurt at how scared Hanbin sounded.

_ “Guys!” _ Junhoe tried again, slightly louder, making Hanbin jump slightly, “Can you _ not?” _

Yunhyeong seemed to realize what was happening, but Jinan still hadn’t noticed Hanbin’s cowering form that was hidden behind Junhoe’s broad back.

The Junior immediately shut up. He placed a hand on Jinan’s shoulder, “Can we please talk about this tomorrow? We shouldn’t do this here. Now,” Yunhyeong said to her, trying to sound as placating as possible.

“Whatever.”

And at that moment, Junhoe stopped paying attention to their stupid lovers’ spat and tried to turn around but Hanbin refused to let go of his jacket.

“Hanbin…Everything is fine,” Junhoe awkwardly mumbled. He had no idea what he was doing but kept finding himself in these situations, completely against his will.

Any other time he would just leave. Run away and never look back.

But he couldn’t.

“We’re gonna leave now, okay?” Junhoe tried to turn around again but Hanbin still wouldn’t let him.

He decided it would be easier to just take the jacket off entirely to let Hanbin bury his face into it as Junhoe lead him to the bench to sit down. Chunhee wormed her way in between Hanbin’s legs to half climb on top of him, fronts paws resting on his thighs as she licked at his face.

Junhoe figured Hanbin would be fine for the second it would take to tell off Jinan for being an oblivious bitch.

“Are you guys okay to get back? Or do you need a ride?”

Yunhyeong looked at Jinan, but she continued to stare at Hanbin with a sad expression, “I think we’re just gonna walk to Jinan’s place. I’ll reschedule tomorrow and we can talk?”

She nodded and turned to Yunhyeong, “Okay…”

_ Finally. _ The adults were going to solve their conflict _ as _ adults.

Yay.

That meant all Junhoe had to do was get Hanbin back to his dorm and everything would be _ fine. _

Except, with Jinan being _ Jinan, _ that didn’t happen.

Junhoe was facing Hanbin, seconds away from brushing the curls off his forehead but pushed _ that _ thought back instead, “Want me to drive us to the dorms? Or do you want to walk?”

Hanbin didn’t raise his head, but he did nod into Chunhee’s fur.

Not that it really gave Junhoe a definitive answer.

“Okay…How about we drive then? We can—”

“_‘Can’t wait to see you tomorrow…’ _ What the fuck is this?!” Jinan screeched. Junhoe spun around to see Yunhyeong trying to pry his phone away from the tiny girl, but she was putting up a fight. “Why the _ fuck _ would she say that? With three smiley faces? _ THREE?” _

“I don’t know! She always types like that,” Yunhyeong argued back, “To _ everyone! _ Even in the groupchat!”

“So, she’s a whore. Got it.”

Yunhyeong made a disgusted face, “Jinan, that’s not true. Nayeon is a great girl, but that doesn’t mean I like her.”

“You sure about that? She just texted _ again!” _

“It’s not that big of a deal!”

Hanbin curled up again, undoing all of the quiet coaxing Junhoe had to do and he was _ livid. _ Jinan should have just let the problem die, put a fucking pin in it to rehash tomorrow morning.

Sometime that wouldn’t affect Hanbin.

Hanbin, who was back to shaking and muttering and and gripping onto Chunhee’s fur like his life depended on it. Her vest was still left off to the side, discarded.

Unlike Junhoe’s nice leather jacket, which was held in a death grip as well and probably would smell like dog after this. Leather jackets were not easy to clean. Go figure.

“It is that big of a deal!” Jinan screamed again, right when Junhoe thought she was finally going to shut the fuck up. But. Nope.

Hanbin’s mumbling only got louder, more panicked, _ “Stopit,stopit,stopstopmakeitstop,” _ as Junhoe slowly moved closer, using his body to attempt to block out as much as he could.

“Jinan, get the fuck out of here,” Junhoe practically growled.

She turned to him in shock, _ hurt _ flashing in her eyes at his tone but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

Not when there were tears soaking into his jacket.

When had he started caring more about Hanbin than his expensive Saint-Laurent jacket? Was it when he realized the sight of paw prints on the seats of his Camaro didn’t irk him like he would have expected? 

He didn’t know.

“Jinan. Walk. Away. Now.”

Her face crumpled. Junhoe almost wanted to take it back but he couldn’t, not now.

Thankfully, Yunhyeong was there with a knowing look to pull her away, a gentle grip on her wrist and whispered words. Likely promises of a new day.

Or, at least, Junhoe fucking hoped so.

Shuffling, more mumbling, and then they were gone.

Leaving Junhoe alone. With Hanbin.

He took his phone from his back pocket and opened his music app, scrolling through his playlist of calm songs to pick the first one he saw, making sure it was left on repeat.

Without thinking about Bobby’s messages from last time—_don’t play anything on the tv or music or whatever—_Junhoe leaned forward to gently slide the wireless headphones into his ears. His fingers barely skimmed the loose curls there, pulling away before any skin contact could be made.

Junhoe found himself wanting to actually card his fingers through Hanbin’s hair. He wanted to twist the curls around them as the shorter Sophomore rested his head in his lap.

Fuck.

_ Fuck. _

“C’mon, Bin,” he waited until Hanbin’s face relaxed and jaw unclenched to try and lead him up and forward, away from the bench.

He knew the music was down low enough not to aggravate whatever Hanbin was feeling right then, but he still worried about it. 

Junhoe worried about a lot when it came to Hanbin.

So he pulled him forward as Johnny Cash played through the earphones, the distant tune of _ You Are My Sunshine _ just barely audible.

Hanbin started mouthing the words, the English syllables seeming to take a few seconds to really register but it seemed to be distracting without overwhelming him.

Junhoe barely remembered to grab the orange vest on the bench. He mentally prepared himself to struggle with the dog (expecting her to be like his own) but Chunhee merely stepped into it right when he lowered it for her.

Huh. Maybe his dog was just stupid.

Yeah. His dog was definitly just stupid.

When Junhoe stood back up, Hanbin had somehow managed to pull Junhoe’s ($3,000!!) leather jacket on. The material dwarfing his slighter frame and reaching well past his fingertips.

Paired with the sunglasses, Hanbin looked like a right fuckboy. 

Even though the bright yellow hoodie peeking out from under the leather kind of ruined the look, coupled with the blue and yellow checkered vans and it was kind of a mess.

But it was cute. Hanbin was cute.

So. There. 

Fuck.

Dammit.

And any other curse word his mother would scold him for using.

Fuck. Again. Fuck.

Junhoe didn’t have _ time _for this. 

He also just didn’t know if his heart could handle it. 

But then he was pulled from his mental berating by Hanbin’s sharp wince, one arm coming up to settle around his chest and Junhoe just didn’t bother asking. There would be no point. 

He just walked to his car like it was any other day, trying not to watch Hanbin in fear of making him uncomfortable but still feeling uneasy when not watching him. 

They finally got to where Junhoe parked his Camaro, sitting silent and solitary. Almost blending in with the darkness surrounding it.

Quickly unlocking the doors, Junhoe opened the door to the backseat to let Chunhee jump in, but was a bit surprised at Hanbin shuffling past him to climb in with her. 

Maybe Junhoe could buy one of those carseat doggy-covers, but thankfully the leather seats were easy to wipe and didn’t collect dog fur.

God forbid if she peed on them…

But Junhoe had a feeling Bobby was more likely to do something like that than Chunhee, not that he planned to let the always-stoned Junior into his nice car anyway, but true nonetheless.

Hanbin made himself comfortable with one of the discarded hoodies Junhoe rarely wore, choosing instead to stick to leather. It was a soft grey, one from their university’s Jiu Jitsu team that Jinan often stole. Junhoe thought it would look cuter on Hanbin. 

By the time Junhoe was in the driver's seat and buckled in, Hanbin had managed to switch the jackets out and make himself comfortable, already dozing off.

Junhoe was learning that Hanbin, when tired enough, could sleep anywhere, and in a plethora of seemingly uncomfortable positions.

It was kind of cute, and something Junhoe was incredibly jealous of.

Which wasn’t fair, because he also knew, vaguely, that Hanbin had moments when he couldn’t sleep.

He started the car, barely remembering to turn off the radio but did just in time. And it was a good thing he did, too, seeing as Jinan turned the volume up all the way on the drive over. Drunk bitch.

But he couldn’t judge too hard. 

Last year, Junhoe had been just as bad as her. Maybe even worse.

It was crazy, how easy alcohol made it to let go, lose control. Forget about everything that could and would hurt him. It was easy.

The main reason he had to stop was the medication he was on. Without that, he might have drunk his way straight to the grave with the amount of dumb shit he would do.

Just to feel alive. 

God. 

He was such a piece of _ shit _ last year, and Junhoe would be forever grateful for Jinan and how she had stuck by him, helped him because she knew what he was going through.

So, yeah, yelling at her probably wasn’t what he should have done, but she had gotten so used to never hearing the word _ no _ that she sometimes refused to listen to any side of a story that wasn’t her own.

Junhoe would take her out later, maybe Monday, apologize and talk to her about what had happened.

Jinan didn’t seem to be as filled in as Junhoe thought, not like Yunhyeong seemed to be, which was surprising.

Or. Maybe it wasn’t.

Hanbin was Yunyheong’s friend first and foremost, and then Jinan’s.

And then Junhoe’s?

They were definitely friends, Junhoe knew that for sure. They were friends.

He knew Hanbin’s go-to orders from numerous take-out places, and he could probably guess most others just based on the extensive list of Hanbin’s dislikes, even if it seemed to change with the days.

Yeah, they were definitely friends. Junhoe was just awkward, and Hanbin was…well.

He was _ Hanbin, _ so.

Yeah.

Friends. Awkward friends. 

Was it normal to want to kiss your friend? Junhoe had never wanted to kiss Jinan, _ hell fucking no, _ but he was also gay, so maybe that wasn’t a fair comparison.

…

Nope.

Couldn’t think of a single guy friend he wanted to kiss either.

Well, a majority of his male ‘friends’ were actually Jinan’s friends, and they were gross. Junhoe was gay, yeah, but he wasn’t into guys that would default to calling him ‘dude’ or ‘bro’ as a term of endearment. 

Nah. Nope. Big ol’ nope.

Junhoe liked guys that knew what a shower was. And cut their hair when half of it was fried and falling off.

So, not Bobby.

He couldn’t handle someone that was loud and energetic _ all the fucking time. _ Junhoe had a very low social-capacity, and someone that was always needing to be surrounded by people would be too tiring to just be around.

Sorry, Donghyuk. Cute, though. Very cute.

He liked guys that were a good mix of quiet and not, someone that knew when to push and when to hold back. How to read a situation.

So, not Chanwoo. Also he was too tall for Junhoe, truthfully.

Yunhyeong was really good with reading moods, but he was a little too pushy, needed to fix every problem he saw, no matter how minor, and no matter how _ not _ involved he was.

That’s why Jinan and Yunhyeong worked, he guessed. Jinan liked making problems and Yunhyeong liked fixing them. Go fuckin’ figure.

No, Junhoe liked guys that were clean-cut, but still a little messy. Someone that could walk into class with bedhead and not look like a total mess. Curls usually helped with that. Curls were also nice to twirl around your finger, or towel dry after a bath.

But that would be best with a smaller body, someone that could fit between Junhoe’s legs if they were going to bathe together, otherwise the bath would be a bit too cramped for his liking.

He wasn’t even partial to guys smaller than him, but considering his build, it was just more realistic to picture. 

And what he was picturing looked incredibly like someone he knew.

Someone with loose curls and sweater paws. Someone that made cute little humming noises instead of speaking sometimes and likely had more Vans than some malls around.

When had his domestic day dreams come to include a dog? And not a tiny ball of cotton like Bbang Daeng, the dog he _ technically _shared with his sister.

Would Hanbin like the little dog? Would Chunhee get along with him?

Maybe they could set up a date.

For their dogs.

A play-date. For dogs.

Yeah.

Fuck.

Junhoe wished he was at a point in his <strike>relationship</strike> _friendship _ with Hanbin where he could just carry the smaller boy up to his room, but he didn’t want to chance Hanbin waking up and freaking out.

He got out of the car to open the back door, expecting to have to wake Hanbin up but was met with red eyes boarded by a curly fringe and raised knees.

“Hey,” Junhoe awkwardly muttered, “We’re here.” As if Hanbin wasn’t able to tell.

Well, maybe not.

Hanbin’s eyes were cloudy and unfocused, likely the only reason he was holding the eye-contact with Junhoe. 

Junhoe wished he knew what was happening. Wished he had a little more insight into what Hanbin was feeling.

“Do you need help out?” He asked when Hanbin didn’t move, only feeling slightly disheartened when the brunette snapped once and Chunhee jumped over him and out of the car, doing the same thing as last time and holding the end of her leash out.

And, just like last time, Junhoe reached down to pocket Hanbin’s discarded sunglasses to make himself feel useful before holding his hand out for the keys to the dorm.

Which were presented to him almost immediately. 

Junhoe hated that this was starting to feel like a routine. 

But Hanbin didn’t seem too steady yet, so Junhoe stuck closer than usual in the chance that he stumbled, and stumble he did. Several times.

It would have been cute in any other situation, like a baby deer just learning how to walk. Except now Hanbin looked like Bambi just found out his mother got shot.

It hurt to look at.

The trip took slightly longer this round when Hanbin tripped in the stairwell and Junhoe fully panicked, ready to catch him and steady him but Hanbin just sort of…slid down the wall until he was sat in the corner of a step.

Half of Junhoe wanted to sneer about how dirty these steps probably were, but the other half could only focus on how bad his chest hurt at the sight of bruised skin peeking through the rips in Hanbin’s jeans and the shaking fingers fidgeting with the leash held there.

A few tense minutes later, Hanbin stood on unsteady legs and then they were back on the path to Hanbin’s room.

Junhoe barely blinked at the _ 131 _ that was growing increasingly familiar to him as he unlocked the door, opening it to another familiar sight of Hanbin’s ridiculously clean room and the scent of…cotton?

_ Baby powder. _ Hanbin’s room smelled like baby powder. _ Hanbin _ smelled like baby powder.

The scent that Junhoe got a full noseful of when the shorter boy slipped under his arm to get in the room. He dropped the leash almost immediately to rush into the bathroom, leaving Junhoe with Chunhee.

Chunhee, a dog. A dog that looked _ too _ fucking human as she tilted her head and stared up at him. 

“I don’t know,” Junhoe snarked, “You know more than I do. And you’re a dog, so.” He paused, actually thinking about what he was saying. To a dog.

His head felt heavy. So did his heart, and it wasn’t something he was really used to.

Feelings weren’t his strong suit, especially the feelings of other people. When you grow up feeling like nobody really cared about you, you learn to only care about yourself. It was a means of survival.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Junhoe took a seat on Hanbin’s bed. He couldn’t hear any noise coming from the bathroom, no shower or anything, nothing that sounded like the little noises Hanbin made without thinking.

The one thing that kept him from worrying _ too _ much was how calm Chunhee seemed. Rather than scratching or barking at the door, like she probably would if something was wrong, she was sat in front of Junhoe with her head resting on the bed a few feet from his thigh.

She made a quiet whining sound, one that sounded a lot like the ones Hanbin made when he was frustrated, before reaching her paw forward to bat at him.

“What? What do you want?”

Making the noise again, Chunhee tilted her head to the side to look up at him.

“I can’t read your mind.”

Tilt to the other side.

She had food. She had water. 

Did she have to go outside?

Junhoe was _ not _ going to do that.

Maybe she just wanted the vest off?

Almost like she could read _ his _ mind, Chunhee shuffled closer to him to present Junhoe the plastic buckles that held the harness together. He made the move to unclip them, but not before remembering to slide Hanbin’s sunglasses back into the pocket he usually kept them in. 

Harness off, Chunhee gave him one final look before turning around to trot her ass over to the doggie-bed in the corner to curl up. 

Junhoe _ swore _ that dog was smarter than a majority of the people at their Uni, which was something he didn’t know if he should be happy about or concerned with. 

Concerned, because if so many people were _ actually _ dumber than a dog...well, _ yikes. _

Or happy because she was Hanbin’s, and obviously good at doing whatever _ service _she was trained for. 

Which Junhoe still didn’t know. 

The only one he really felt he could be sure of was PTSD, but the thought of that was too heavy for him to really get into. He wasn’t a psychology person, not by any stretch of the imagination, but he knew that PTSD was really serious and affected people even years after whatever could have caused it. 

It was a daunting thought. Yeah, maybe he was a little depressed sometimes and, yeah, maybe he didn’t really have control over that, but Junhoe couldn’t imagine being stuck in a never ending loop of whatever trauma someone had to go through for such a serious thing. 

And he just hated how much sense it made. 

Hanbin was quiet, reserved. Hated being touched sometimes. Didn’t like yelling or loud noises. The stuttering. 

Again, Junhoe didn’t _ want _ to make assumptions, but it was well past midnight, he was fucking exhausted, and he couldn’t stop his mind from wondering down each path of _ what-ifs _ it thought of. 

The worst one was abuse.

Hanbin didn’t talk much about his family—Or at all, really—but he spoke of his little sister like she was the light in his life. Would he really be okay to leave her with their parents if he came from an unsafe home?

Or maybe it was just him. 

Or maybe it wasn’t even from a family member at all. 

Without even thinking, Junhoe momentarily forgot that he was still in Hanbin’s room, in Hanbin’s _ bed, _and flopped onto his side while pulling his phone out. 

Nine minutes later and halfway through an article of _ Recognizing the Signs of Post-Traumatic Stress _ and he was out like a light.

* * *

  
Waking up the next morning was only moderately unpleasant, considering the circumstances. 

Circumstances being Junhoe fell asleep in both his jeans and boots, as well as being only half on top of Hanbin’s bed. With Hanbin. 

Not half on top of Hanbin, though. 

God, no. 

He’d probably crush the poor guy. 

Speaking of, Hanbin made a quiet little _ chortle _ before pushing himself up and out of his small nest of blankets, eyes bleary and hair a mess. 

He almost looked like a Pokémon. Junhoe was not entirely sure why that was his first thought, but now he couldn’t stop imagining that one beaver that wouldn’t stop annoying him the first time he played. 

Bidoof. Hanbin looked like a Bidoof.

Or maybe a deer Pokémon, but it’s been too long since he played to really think of any cute ones.

Did Hanbin ever play Pokémon?

Just as Junhoe was about to open his mouth to ask, Hanbin fully sat up, letting the blanket fall from around his shoulders before quickly scooping them back up to his chest. He let out a little noise of surprise, like he hadn’t expected Junhoe to still be there.

Hanbin opened up his mouth like he was going to say something, but nothing really happened except for a groan of frustration when no words managed to come out.

It would’ve been cute, had it not been for the wince that barely passed over Hanbin’s face, but Junhoe wasn’t given much time to dwell on it before the shorter boy was up and out of bed.

Chunhee got up like she planned to follow, but Hanbin made a little _ ‘stay’ _ motion with his hand and she settled back down, he then turned around to make the same motion to Junhoe.

“I’m not a dog,” Junhoe huffed, but Hanbin only laughed as he walked into the bathroom.

Leaving Junhoe with Chunhee, yet again.

“Stop looking at me like that.”

It was just a few minutes later when Hanbin walked back out, eyes a little red behind a pair of circle glasses and curls slightly more contained, but now clad in another baggy hoodie.

How many fucking hoodies did this kid have?

Hanbin, again, didn’t give Junhoe much time to ponder that thought before shuffling over to his dresser to open one of the drawers to pull out a few things.

He then presented the clothing to Junhoe, just a plan long-sleeved tee and a pair of flannel pants, covered in leaves.

Pot leaves.

“These are Bobby’s, I’m assuming?” Junhoe asked as he took them, realizing he didn’t even know what time it was. He would guess it was still fairly early, and one glance at Hanbin’s small clock confirmed that it wasn’t even 6 in the morning.

The fact instantly gave Junhoe a headache.

So he made his way to the bathroom with dragging steps, stopping momentarily to kick his shoes off before holing himself away in the room. 

Inside, there was a spare toothbrush set on a folded up towel on the counter, which was reletively bare beside those items. Just a few untouched-looking containers of hair products, a bottle of face wash, and a contact case. 

It was oddly clean for the bathroom of a 20-something year old—Junhoe didn’t actually know if Hanbin was the same age as him, or slightly older or younger—and the only reason Junhoe’s bathroom was marginally cleaner was due to the fact that his mother hired someone to clean it for him.

  
After finally stripping down and getting in the shower, Junhoe was a little disappointed at the average water pressure but _ hey, _ beggers can’t be chosers and he needed a shower to feel at least a little human.

He reached for the soap, only realizing what he was using after he had a crown of bubbles and a noseful of something _ oddly _reminiscent.

It was a kids’ soap.

Hanbin used a kids’ soap.

Hanbin used a scentless, gentle on skin, kids’ soap.

_ God. _

Hanbin really was like a fucking baby deer.

He tried not to take too long and was out after another few minutes, heading back out with the towel draped around his shoulders to find Hanbin curled back up under his covers with only a set of string lights on that Junhoe never really noticed before.

Hanbin lifted his head up slightly before letting it fall again and scooching over to make more space that Junhoe had the night before.

Neither of them really said much, or anything at all, actually. Hanbin just went back to the Business book Junhoe finally noticed after handing the taller boy a remote.

His eyes caught Junhoe’s hair for an extra second, likely because it was the first time he’d seen it down instead of styled back like usual.

It wasn’t until much later, after several episodes of Spongebob, that Junhoe finally left.

And it wasn’t until he was outside the dorm building and in his car, after unlocking his phone to play music, when he realized it opened to a search that he never looked up.

_ Sensory Processing Disorder. _

He finally had an answer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/MVforVictory) for the lads
> 
> Pls drop some kudos and comments as they are fuel for my stupid


	6. First Group Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Junhoe stays the night (with a group this time).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha wow hi it's been a minute eh?
> 
> i don't know what this is sorry

He wondered if it would hurt.

It was clearly too hot, steam making the air almost too thick to breathe in but he didn’t even know if he was breathing. Logistically, he knew he had to be, how else would he be alive? 

He was alive. He had to remember that.

He turned back to the shower, shaking his head. Clearly too hot. Clearly. Yet, still, his first instinct was to just get in—to just let the water burn him, turn his skin red so he could watch as it blistered. 

Maybe he could convince himself it was an accident, watching the water beat down on the shower door, steam still rising as his fingers twitch against the cool metal of the door handle.

It would.

It would hurt a lot.

He was tired of hurting.

So, instead, he simply sighed and opened to door to adjust the temperature to a more reasonable one before he could think on it any longer, trying to find some sense of _ okay-ness _ as he slipped inside to let the water run directly over his face.

* * *

  
“I want to be Toad!”

“Tough, I already picked him.”

“I always pick Toad. You _ know _ that I always pick Toad, brat. Why couldn’t you pick someone more your style, huh?”

“Oh, yeah? Like _ who?” _

“I don’t know,” Donghyuk scowled at the screen, “Like—Like Waluigi.”

“Waluigi?” Chanwoo deadpanned, “How the fuck am I anything like Waluigi?”

The glare was turned from the game to the youngest, Donghyuk scrunching his nose up as he tried to put together enough of a valid reason to secure his desired character, “You’re evil.”

“I’m…evil?”

_ “Yes.” _

“...Fair enough…” Chanwoo deadpanned, “But you’re still not getting Toad.”

“Nerds,” Hanbin snorted.

Junhoe couldn’t help his chuckle that followed, no matter how short and staccato it may have been, it still took him by surprise.

And that surprise must have been shared with Hanbin, as the brunette’s eyes quickly snapped over to him with a small grin and a twinkle in his eyes that Junhoe so, _ so _ desperately wished he could keep there forever.

“Al-Although,” Hanbin quietly started again, “Doubt th-tha-that we’re much—much better.”

“Speak for yourself,” he shot back, “I saw the Sailor Moon shit in your room.”

Hanbin let out small squeak of indignation at the shot that was fired at him before turning back to his DS with little more than a childish grumble, further proving Junhoe’s point.

It was strange.

The feeling Junhoe got when Hanbin did things that should have, _ always had, _ pissed him off. The way he was super picky about _ everything, _ and what he was picky about never seemed consistent. Or how he whined, even the way he refused to keep eye contact.

So, really, Junhoe should hate Hanbin, or at least find his presence obnoxious but he _ couldn’t. _ Not when he thought about how much better Hanbin’s stutter was getting around him when it was just the two of them or how Junhoe couldn’t help but want to learn about all of his little quirks and habits.

The way Hanbin seemed so self-satisfied whenever he got Junhoe to laugh, like it was his personal mission to tell enough stupid jokes until Junhoe was left in stitches from the awkward delivery.

Today, it just seemed to be taking a bit more.

He knew, as soon as he woke up, that today wasn’t going to be a good day. But…Junhoe couldn’t quite call it a _ bad _ day either, it was just bland.

It was just a day when the sky seemed a little bit greyer, no matter how nice it was, or the air just felt too stale. Like it was just barely breathable and settled in your lungs like glue.

It was the kind of day where time somehow seemed like it passed by too slow and yet too fast and it left you feeling wide awake but tired and just _ lost. _

The day where your head felt heavy and your chest too empty to even want to function, but it’s something you just have to do.

Even when your entire body felt like concrete.

So Junhoe only allowed a few moments (well, almost an hour) of blankly staring at the wall before he forced himself up and out of bed. By the time he managed to make it into the shower, he had already missed a good portion of his 9 AM, but it was just Philosophy and he really couldn’t bring himself to care about Dr. Oh and listening to him drone on and on about shit none of them cared about.

Two classes later and three ridiculously expensive cups of coffee, Junhoe found himself added into a group text—courtesy of Jinan—saying that they all had to be at her house for drinks and shitty rom-coms that would, undoubtedly, make Bobby and Yunhyeong cry.

And thus, Junhoe was now drinking _ another _ cup of too expensive coffee in the hopes of delaying the inevitable caffeine crash that would soon slam into him like a tsunami. Fun.

He cringed as he ran a hand through his hair, sure, he may have made it into the shower that morning, but he just couldn’t bring himself to fully wash his hair during. What was the point when he’d just be throwing more gel into it a matter of minutes? 

But now that meant his hair felt just a little too crusty for his liking, but at least the shine from the gel prevented the strands from looking ridiculously greasy. 

So, yeah. Junhoe was having a pretty bleak day, but it wasn’t the worst, and that was manageable enough for him to just get through the day and hope tomorrow would be a bit less bland.

And then he had walked into Jinan’s place, fully expecting to be the first one there, only to see Hanbin sitting upside down over the front of the couch, pink DS in hand and wearing the hoodie he had snagged from Junhoe’s car the week before.

That had definitely not been expected. Junhoe really hoped that his stupid face wasn’t showing how shocked at the sight of his grey Jiu Jitsu hoodie on Hanbin’s slighter frame once more—And then he was thankful no one else was around to make fun of the heat he could definitely feel rising along his cheekbones.

Hanbin bid him a quick hello, likely not realizing Junhoe’s internal turmoil, and beckoned him over with a wave of his hand and a flash of the DS screen.

They then spent the next 25 or so minutes giggling over the stupid names Hanbin chose for his characters. Not once did Junhoe think about where Jinan was or wasn’t—Odd considering it was her place of residence—until Donghyuk and Chanwoo came tumbling in together.

Junhoe chose to ignore Chanwoo’s messy hair and Donghyuk’s reddened lips and smudged eyeliner for the sake of his own sanity.

He wasn’t too keen on thinking about even more of his friends fucking—_ Friends, as in plural— _as well as the annoyance of his Gaydar not catching Chanwoo.

Donghyuk, with his beautifully styled hair and occasionally intricately done makeup, was an immediate giveaway but Chanwoo hadn’t even made Junhoe think twice.

Although, maybe it was a case of him not even knowing himself. Or maybe it was just Donghyuk?

Well, whatever it was, Junhoe decided he didn’t feel like bothering to think on it any more than he already has. 

The door to Jinan’s apartment opened, Bobby stumbling in with a crooked grin, reddened eyes, and arms laden with plastic bags. “Jinan and Yun in the kitchen?” He drawled the question out as he struggled to reach up with one arm to adjust the rolled blunt behind his ear, “I brought the _ goods.” _

The _ ‘goods’ _ likely consisted of more mindless games to play, more snacks, and more alcohol—Much of which Junhoe had no interest in, namely the alcohol, but Hanbin’s eyes lit up at the sight of his favorite crisps showing through the plastic of the bag, right next to a packet of gummy bears that Junhoe planned to cop. 

Junhoe shrugged, “I honestly have no fucking clue, man,” he said, turning back to watch the current match being played with relatively low interest.

“Geez,” Bobby laughed as he set a tote of Wii games down next to the still bickering duo, “Is he already drunk?” He asked Hanbin.

Nope, not drunk. Just so caffeinated he could taste his heartbeat and feel his brain cells popping, yet so incredibly unmotivated to do anything and everything. Great combo. Fantastic.

“No. Go’way, you smell,” Hanbin stuck his tongue out at the the other curly-haired boy.

“Damn. Feelin’ the love, guys.”

“Oh, shut up!” Donghyuk yipped, “Go tell the lovebirds we’re gonna start the movie without them.”

Bobby whined—And, yeah, Junhoe definitely still found it annoying when _ he _ did it. Why was Hanbin the exception?—and stomped his foot down like a child, “Why’s it gotta be me? I don’t want to walk in on them fucking.”

“Y’all had a threesome your Freshmen year,” Donghyuk retaliated, “Pipe down, Porky.”

“Doesn’t mean I wanna see that _ now,” _ Bobby muttered, but ultimately still acquiesced to their request and made his way to where Jinan’s bedroom was, not heeding his own fear and just walking right in.

There was no yelling or shrieking that followed, so Junhoe figured it was safe to assume there had been no fucking going on behind the door.

Or Bobby joined again.

Ugh, gross.

Junhoe wished he had never learned that small piece of information.

“Bin, June. Do you guys want a beer or something?” Chanwoo asked while standing to grab one of his own.

“Don’t drink,” Junhoe curtly replied, and Hanbin shook his head.

“Right, beer has gluten,” Chanwoo mumbled as he walked out, stumbling just barely on his way around the couch.

Junhoe wondered what that had to do with anything. Unless Hanbin had that thing where you couldn’t eat gluten? But…Junhoe’s seen him eat pizza before, so that couldn’t be it, right?

Well, he didn’t actually eat it that day, when Junhoe had driven him home.

But he also knew that Hanbin hated ice cream, but only sometimes. He said it was ‘slimy’, and made him gag when he thought about it, but other times he wanted nothing more than a bowl of the damn stuff. 

He hated milk in general though, and called Bobby a sociopath because the Junior liked to eat cubed cheese by itself. To the younger, curly-haired male, that was apparently a ‘vile act that should never be done,’ but Junhoe (at the time) thought he was just dramatic.

Except now he knew about the sensory issues Hanbin had, and it made a bit more sense. Milk was kind of slimy feeling.

That didn’t explain the beer thing, however.

“So,” Donghyuk started, checking his phone while the game was paused, “The pizzas should be here in around 15 minutes, and the pizza fund is still short.”

They all glanced to the pile of cash on the coffee table, Junhoe didn’t even think about it before pulling out his wallet and tossing a few bills down on top, just as the youngest walked back in with two beers.

Donghyuk and Chanwoo both looked at him in surprise but Hanbin didn’t even raise his head from his DS, too preoccupied with his newest conquest to care about Junhoe throwing an obscene amount of money onto the pre-existing pile of crumpled paper there.

“Damn…” Chanwoo whistled, “Was that flex really necessary?”

Junhoe just shrugged, “It’s raining. Higher tip.”

As was only right to do, in his opinion. Driving around at night, in potentially shitty weather, to deliver pizza to a bunch of tipsy college students didn’t sound like the most fun of jobs.

Well, whatever it was, Junhoe didn’t spend money all too often and he was more than fine with dropping a little extra if it meant helping someone out.

Donghyuk eyed him with a searching look before flashing him a smile that could rival the damn sun.

Maybe, if circumstances were a bit different, maybe Junhoe could have looked at Donghyuk like he _ was _ the sun. But circumstances were not different and that sun was still just a little too bright for his comfort, and that was okay.

<strike> There was very little he would trade for the stars in Hanbin’s eyes. </strike>

Minutes before the pizza was set to arrive, all three of the eldest members of their little group reconvened in the living room, Yunhyeong’s face looking a little too somber and Jinan’s eyes red enough to rival Bobby’s.

Junhoe needed to talk to her. It’s been a few weeks since they’ve had anything more than a superficial conversation about her wanting to change her hair color again or how he should get a new piercing, and he honestly felt horrible about it.

So much of his thought capacity recently has been taken up by _ HanbinHanbinHanbin, _ that he’s kind of forgotten the one person that’s been with him the longest. That understood him the best.

Not to mention the fact that he’s still never apologized for shouting at her last week and she’s been wary of him ever since, which was another thing he felt awful about. He knew what that would do to her, but he hadn’t even been thinking about anything other than separating her from Hanbin.

Now, looking at Jinan with her hair in a messy bun and skin starting to show just how stressed she must be, even under the makeup, Junhoe couldn’t help but feel responsible for the slow rift in their friendship.

It was his fault. He was too hung up on somebody he just met, that had to be it.

Hanbin shouldn’t be anything more than another boy that Junhoe should make snide comments about to Jinan, he was just another boy with too many problems that would normally get on his nerves but they _ just fucking didn’t. _

He didn’t know what he was feeling, or why he even felt it, but it was _ something. _

“Hey, guys,” Jinan gave them all a small wave and an even smaller smile, just verging on a grimace when Junhoe noticed the weary set to her shoulders and apologetic tone that usually came with her realizing she was in the wrong, “Did I miss anything?...”

“Just me whooping Dong’s ass,” Chanwoo replied, “And I think Hanbin caught a shiny.”

Cautiously, Jinan made a slow venture over to where the curly-headed boy was still immersed in the game before taking a seat on the arm of the couch next to the younger.

It was likely that she was going to apologize for setting him off that night, whatever she had done.

He was proven correct after a few silent seconds before Jinan tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, “Hey, Binnie,” she started, waiting for Hanbin’s little hum of acknowledgment before continuing, “How have you been?”

“F-Fine. Need a—a haircut-t s-s-soo-on.”

Hanbin didn’t seem outwardly phased in the slightest, until his face gave away the frustration at how heavy his stutter was—Which might be the biggest tell, now that Junhoe thought about it.

Hanbin only ever really stuttered, save for the occasional catch in words, around Jinan when he was overwhelmed. It made sense, when you thought about it. If Hanbin had a problem with sensory processing, then Jinan was the closest thing to walking overstimulation as someone could get.

Sometimes it was even too much for Junhoe to handle.

Jinan must have been thinking along the same lines as him because her face fell when Hanbin took a solid three seconds just to get the word _ ‘soon’ _ out.

“Yeah? Do you think you’re going to dye it again?”

Hanbin gave a toothy grin right in Junhoe’s direction, almost as if he knew of the taller male’s disdain towards the long-gone blonde hair. 

“M-Maybe.”

“I swear to god…”

“Oh,” Jinan cut Junhoe off with a far too fake smile, “You sure got a lot of girls’ attention with the blonde hair. Total player.”

Right. Girls. Junhoe shouldn’t be so shocked at the idea of girls throwing themselves at the captain of their university’s soccer team, no matter how awkward he was.

Hanbin gave a sheepish laugh, “Sure,” before turning his attention back to his DS. He was practically curling in on himself now, likely due to the attention being drawn to him in a way he just wasn’t comfortable with.

“Yo, Jinan.”

She pouted at Hanbin’s reaction, like she knew why he was acting that way but still was discouraged by it and Junhoe _ understood _ her frustration. Really, he did.

But now he also understood why Hanbin did little things like that.

“Yeah?”

“Come sit by me.”

Apologizing wasn’t Junhoe’s strong suit, but neither was it Jinan’s, and especially not in front of so many people. So many people. So many insecurities.

Able to see how broken <strike> he </strike> _ she _ was.

_ He could feel it in his chest, something strange, like someone was reaching in and squeezing. Squeezing hard. Too hard. Putting pressure on his heart and lungs and everything inside him until he just couldn’t breathe anymore. _

_ Jongin was laughing at him. _

_ So were all of his friends. _

_ “I—I can’t—Please—” _

_ They laughed at him, they just kept laughing at him. _

_ Like there wasn’t a place for him there. _

_ And there wasn’t. _

“I’m sorry, June.”

And, he _ knew, _ she was.

“Yeah, me too.”

And he was.

  
  


* * *

Eating pizza and playing video games. A normal thing young adults did during sleepovers, Junhoe supposed. But were they still called sleepovers when you were in your 20s—Sans Chanwoo, who still had a few months to go until that milestone—He didn’t quite know.

You see, parties were never his favorite.

Not when you were just one rich kid in a sea of other rich kids, all trying to prove who had the most without showing the bruises and ugly words that were to stay hidden under pressed, navy blazers.

Maybe Junhoe got lucky, surviving his teen years with barely more than a few fingerprints from a hand gripping his arm just a _ tad _ too tight, but odds are he deserved most of them. Talking back, rebeling, doing other generally stupid shit. 

Maybe he lucked out, having the parents that were never around, rather than the ones that tracked his every move.

Maybe he lucked out, getting the parents that gave up on him when he turned 16 and got his nose pierced. And then his tongue. And then got a tattoo to cover the three little white lines that would never leave his skin, his memory.

Maybe he lucked out, having an older sister that was everything and nothing. Beautiful, but lacked conviction. 

Maybe he lucked out, after one of his sister’s friends started to take an interest in him.

And maybe, just maybe, he lucked out when everything came crashing down around him, but he escaped only a bit more fucked in the head than he already had been.

Maybe.

_ “Maybe it was your fault from the start.” _

Maybe.

A voice breaking through the static.

Jinan’s.

Focus.

_ Focus. _

“B-Bobby…” Hanbin.

A sigh. “I know, Bin.”

He looked over just long enough to see Bobby lightly tapping his fingers against the side of Hanbin’s jaw, whispering something that immediately makes the younger’s face relax before getting up.

Jinan and Yunhyeong were in the kitchen. They were arguing again.

Chanwoo was staring past Junhoe, in the direction of the kitchen with wide eyes that reminded Junhoe that he was not only the youngest, but Jinan’s baby cousin. Nearly her adoptive brother at several points in their life. 

He watched as Donghyuk, in an effort to distract, clicked the button on Chanwoo’s controller to unpause their game and pulling an affronted yelp out of him as he whipped back around to face the television.

Well, he was happy that Chanwoo had Donghyuk, the grumpiness and mischievousness was a good balance with the other’s soothing sunniness.

Junhoe leaned back against the couch, sliding onto his side with a low groan as he scrubbed down his face. This day was really taking a lot out of him, a lot that he didn’t really _ have _ to give.

He was fucking exhausted.

Maybe he should just go home.

_ “It’s like…like I just forget who I am sometimes. Or—Or where I am, why am there. Like I just can’t find a purpose or a reason anymore.” _

_ “You sound fucking crazy, kid,” Jongin laughed, rolling the paper bill between his fingers even tighter. He leaned down towards the table, knocking back another white line before letting out a choked laugh, “That’s why everyone thinks you’re all fucked up, because you are.” _

_ “It’s really not—” _

_ “Not normal, babe. It’s really not normal.” _

_ And, yeah, Junhoe doesn’t argue back. There wasn’t a point in arguing back when Jongin would always be right, in the end. _

_ It wasn’t normal to forget your own name or why you were doing anything more than just breathing. It wasn’t okay to just forget who you are. _

_ Maybe Junhoe hasn’t really been okay in a long time, but he was functioning, at least. _

Maybe not, actually.

If he were to go home, Junhoe knew for a fact that he would just shut off all of the lights and fall in his bed to stare at the wall or ceiling until the dark of his room faded into the dark of sleep and he wasn’t floating, but he wasn’t falling either. Like he was suspended in a whole lot of nothingness that was too much and not enough at the same time.

Yeah, not a good feeling.

He forced his eyes open, head rolling just enough to the side to catch sight of Hanbin sprawled out over the sides of Jinan’s recliner, rather than leaning back in it like the name entailed. Chunhee was curled just below, where Hanbin’s feet _ should _ have been, had he been sitting correctly.

The brunette was scrolling through his phone now, but with the way his eyes were flitting around the screen, Junhoe didn’t think he was really absorbing anything he was looking at. Body wound tight with stress and one hand snapping—Wait, snapping?

But…he was not really clicking? Just doing the motion repetitively and rapidly with his right hand, sleeve falling a few inches below the boney line of Hanbin’s wrist to show a red, blue, and white corded bracelet there.

There was a moment when Junhoe realized that he should look away, right when Hanbin’s attention was drawn away from his phone at one of Donghyuk’s many protests, to avoid any more awkward eye contact with the other male.

And that was exactly what happened.

Junhoe didn’t look away, not even when Hanbin caught him staring, which did result in some semi-awkward eye contact but neither of them moved to break it, for once. Hanbin just sent him a crooked grin that now reminded Junhoe so much of Bobby’s.

Trying to smile back wasn’t quite as easy as Junhoe was hoping it would be and he was sure it came out as more of a grimace, causing Hanbin’s smile to morph into a look of poorly-contained worry.

Junhoe just shrugged back, not quite knowing how to respond or what else to do before dropping his head back down.

And then the couch shifted next to him.

Hanbin settled just a few inches away from him and smiled as he did so. Junhoe was fucked.

He started patting his leg and it only took a second for it to click for Junhoe when Chunhee lifted her head up to peer at him, and then looking turned into getting up to stretch before trotting over to sit in front of Hanbin.

But she just continued to stare as she was beckoned onto the couch.

Junhoe couldn’t help but snort as he thought about Jinan’s dislike of the dog being on the furniture and how Chunhee listened better than Hanbin did, but the brunette only huffed and slid to the floor next to her.

And then he looked at Junhoe. And then the space on the floor next to him. Back to Junhoe.

A sigh. 

“Fine.”

Which left Junhoe sitting on the floor next to the weird kid that made his heart skip a beat. Stuttering in much the same way he did.

“She’s kind of cute,” Junhoe unthinkingly blurted out, “I guess.”

“W-What?”

“I mean—She’s cute for a dog...I guess.”

Hanbin blinked at Junhoe’s fumbled words and repeated phrase before giggling, “Yeah. She—She’s prett-ty cute. I-I guess.”

Junhoe felt his face burn as he watched Hanbin break eye contact to look down at the dog, running his hand over her splotty fur and making her tail softly thump against the blanket a few times. 

Junhoe hated how cute he found that. And he hated how little it bothered him, that Hanbin and Chunhee were just a packaged deal, and that’s how it would be. 

But maybe he didn’t really hate it, at least, not as much as he tried to convince himself he did. 

Hanbin let out a quiet hum, “Com’ere.”

Unsure if the quiet command was directed at himself or the dog, Junhoe sputtered out a ‘Me?’ before shifting forward at Hanbin’s answering nod and ridding them of the inches that separated them. 

“Break.”

It was just one word but the effect was instantaneous and apparent as hell. 

Chunhee’s entire demeanor changed, acting like a subdued version of how she was without the obnoxiously orange vest settled over her torso, while still obviously not as energetic as a normal dog would be. 

It made Junhoe think about just how much time, effort, and money probably went into a service dog. Not to mention how important she was to Hanbin. 

It wasn’t even like she did anything super crazy, just rolled onto her back at the command and let her tongue flop out of the side of her mouth. 

It was very...

Cute.

“Hand?” Hanbin requested, and this time it was Junhoe’s turn to blink at him as he offered his hand out. 

Dumbfounded, he blinked again and honest-to-god tried not to pull back in shock as Hanbin took his hand in his own. 

He half expected Hanbin to run cold, considering how he’d never seen the smaller guy in anything but a hoodie (save for the one time with the soccer jersey), but the brunette’s hands were warm. They were warm, skin smooth against Junhoe’s but carrying a slight tremble that likely wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for him.

The hands that looked so strange next to Junhoe’s. The tan skin contrasting with the inked paleness of his own. Red-raw nail beds against guitar-rough fingers. Red and blue bracelet in place of an overly-expensive, leather watch.

Hanbin had a band-aid around his pinky. 

Light blue with koala faces scattered over it. Just like the one on his cheek, wrapping under his jaw.

And then he was looking at Hanbin—his face, not his hands—He was looking at Hanbin’s face and trying to remember what they had been doing before when his palm was pressed again something coarse, yet smooth.

Fur.

It was Chunhee’s fur.

Junhoe’s gaze snapped back to the dog as Hanbin started rubbing along Chunhee’s side with their joined hands before moving to scratch along her belly, just under her leg.

The leg, which the German Shepherd started to rapidly hit against the carpet underneath them as they, collectively, kept scratching at the one spot.

Junhoe snorted. That was probably the most dog-like behavior he had ever seen from her.

But then—As if Junhoe’s heart could take any more—Hanbin started talking in that soft and sleepy voice, “What’s so—so funny, eh? M’sure you’ve got—” He yawned, “A sp-special spot, too.”

Um. _ What? _

Junhoe could feel the heat rise to his face as he thought about the implications of what Hanbin said, almost about to start blurting out whatever without thinking, before he paused.

Hanbin had this stupid, _ stupid, _ little sleepy smile on his face and Junhoe’s heart started beating just that little bit faster. 

And then Donghyuk’s voice shattered the calm Junhoe had gotten into.

“I bet Bobby does the same thing when you find his _ special spot,” _ he joked, nodding to where Chunhee was still kicking her leg about in front of them.

Chanwoo groaned, “I don’t want to think about that.”

Yeah, neither did Junhoe.

  
  
  


“Cute.”

“Wha—” Junhoe rubbed at his eyes, pushing himself up only to come face-to-face with Bobby.

“I said,” the elder _ booped _ his nose, “Cute.”

Looking to his side, Junhoe saw Hanbin still next to him, still on the floor but now curled into a ball with his arms wrapped around his drawn-up knees and face mushed against them.

Junhoe almost reached out to remove his glasses before Hanbin bent them, but decided against it at the last second in fear of waking him up.

Oh, he must have dozed off. 

He wasn’t quite sure how long he had been out but Donghyuk and Chanwoo had switched to some card game, Jinan and Yunhyeong were now curled together in the chair Hanbin had been in. Junhoe couldn’t tell if they were sleeping or not. 

Maybe it was later than he thought. He never was the best with time.

But losing time like this was definitely preferable over dissociating and staring at his wall for hours on end.

“I can help you move him onto the couch,” Bobby said, “Can’t imagine the floor is very comfortable.”

Junhoe was almost too tired to notice the cheeky tone of Bobby’s voice, or how his words implied they’d be sleeping together. Almost.

He just grunted.

A weight settled on his shoulder.

“It’s crazy that he keeps doing that,” Bobby mused, settling into the spot in front of the couch next to Junhoe. He was angled towards them and it was then that Junhoe fully processed what had been said.

Hanbin had, once again, made himself comfortable with his cheek smushed against the black fabric of Junhoe’s long-sleeve shirt, as if he wasn’t already burning up from how high Jinan kept the fucking heat.

“What do you mean?” He mumbled, keeping his voice low in an effort to not wake Hanbin up, although the other guy seemed pretty okay with Donghyuk and Chanwoo’s continued arguing.

Bobby shrugged slightly before the stupid grin regained its place, “Just, yenno, how comfortable he already seems with you.” At Junhoe’s slight head tilt, he continued, “He barely lets Jinan touch him, and never actually initiates it himself.”

It felt kind of…odd…hearing Bobby talk about Hanbin like he wasn’t there, passed out on Junhoe’s shoulder. The little puffs of air sounding every time he breathed out.

It was a shame that Junhoe couldn’t focus on that and that alone, seeing as he was having his first _ real _ conversation with Bobby, now that he thought about it. 

A conversation that he didn’t know how to feel about.

“Don’t worry,” Bobby cut in, “I’m not gonna give you the shovel talk, so calm down. Not gonna have you make any stupid promises or any of that shit, don’t worry too much, man. I’m just here to say thanks, I guess.”

“For what?”

“Makin’ him happy.”

That was…weird.

Almost _ daunting, _ in a way. Like Junhoe now had a new pressure in his chest to try and breathe around, a pressure he wasn’t even sure why was there.

“Why me?” Junhoe questioned, breathing in, breathing out, feeling Hanbin’s hair tickle his cheek when he turns his head slightly to look down at the boy sleeping on his shoulder, “Why me…”

That Hanbin decided to open up to. To catch feelings. To not know what he wants or _ why _he wants that. 

If he wants it. If he wants _ anything. _

Bobby hummed, throwing his head back as he flicked his lighter once, twice, before turning to face Junhoe with another crooked grin, “Why not you?”

“I’m not—” Junhoe started, sighing in frustration, “I’m not anything special. I’m kind of a self-centered prick.”

He made Hanbin _ cry _ and never actually apologized for being such an ass.

“Naaah, man. You want people to think that. If you really were, I don’t think Hanbin would give you more than a second thought. He sees something in you. You just gotta see it in yourself.”

Junhoe looked up at that, shock likely written on his face plain as fucking day as he watched Bobby’s normally clumsy fingers roll a paper with practiced ease. “And you know everything about him?”

“Well.” Bobby paused to lick the newly-formed blunt closed, smirking in a way the made Junhoe feel nothing but uneasy, “I know everything about everyone.”

And, somehow, Junhoe didn’t doubt that.

“On a real, he’s like my little brother,” Bobby continued, “Besides, us neuro-atypicals gotta stick together.”

Little brother. _ Thank god. _

Junhoe felt his eyes closing against his will, only offering Bobby a low hum in response as he dropped his head back against the couch.

He didn’t want to move.

But that was entirely due to the fact that he hadn’t been sleeping very well recently and was dead tired, nothing to do with not wanting to move Hanbin away from his shoulder. 

Even if it meant waking up to horrible back pain tomorrow morning. 

So, instead of getting up, Junhoe just ended up blinking at Bobby until he got the idea, laughing as he stood up and walked away. 

_ He sees something in you. _

  
  
  
  


Junhoe woke himself up by sneezing. 

He groaned before realizing that it was still dark and everyone was still crashed around the room. 

Rubbing at his eyes, which felt like the damn Sahara because of his contacts, Junhoe tried to roll onto his side but was trapped under a blanket, tucked too tight around him.

His next plan was to just pull at the fabric until it was loose enough to move, but blindly reaching his hand out to grab it only led to it coming in contact with something decidedly _ not-blanket. _

Something smooth. And warm.

Something Junhoe immediately recognized as Hanbin’s side. Fingertips resting right in the curve of the brunette’s hip, just below the solid lines of his ribs.

But, rather than pulling his hand away immediately upon realization, Junhoe let it rest there. His whole body stilled in an effort to not disturb the other boy, whose back was pressed against Junhoe’s side. 

If you asked him, he would fully blame it on the fact that he wasn’t actually awake, but then his palm was moving. Back and forth. Up. Down. Up. Down.

Up.

Down.

Up.

  
  
  


Down.

  
  


And then he was asleep once again.

  
  


Maybe in the morning…

He’ll think about how much easier it was to fall asleep with someone next to him.

  
  
  
  


The next time Junhoe wakes up, it’s to Bobby’s god-awful morning voice singing some annoying English song from the kitchen. Not to mention Hanbin’s hair all in his face, which caused him to sneeze himself awake, yet again.

“Mornin’, buddy.”

“Fuck off,” Junhoe grumbled, rolling onto his back and tossing an arm over his eyes to block out the light.

If only he could block out Donghyuk’s chipper tone.

“Time’s it?”

“It’s almost eleven,” the blonde nudged Junhoe’s thigh with his foot, “Everyone is already up, except for Bin and Sleeping Beauty over there,” Donghyuk said while gesturing to Jinan _ snoring _ on the chair she had been in last night. A true beauty, indeed.

Junhoe rubbed at his eyes, still feeling exhausted even after sleeping more last night than he had in the whole week prior, “Coffee on?”

“Yeah,” the shorter boy responded, “Yun-oppa used the fancy shit that he keeps here.”

“Sweet.”

Junhoe dropped his head back down and took a breath. He could do this. He could do today.

…Wait…

_ “Oppa?” _

Donghyuk wasn’t even in the room anymore.

Weird. Junhoe would have to ask Jinan what the fuck he was missing here. 

Jinan and Yunhyeong were dating, but fighting. Bobby has joined them in a threesome before. The snowflake that was fucking Jinan’s cousin was also calling her boyfriend _ oppa. _

Fuck, he wasn’t awake enough for this shit. He needed coffee.

But getting coffee meant getting up, and getting up meant detangling himself from the sleeping Hanbin next to him, not to mention the sleeping dog.

But…_ coffee. _

Yeah, coffee made it worth it.

Junhoe sleepily untangled himself from the small brunette to make his way to the kitchen for something to calm the pounding caffeine-headache that was starting to beat against his temples.

“Someone give me coffee,” he said immediately upon entering, “Now.”

“Calm down, Satan,” Chanwoo grumbled, “It’s too early for your shit.”

“It’s almost afternoon, Sunshine. I was about to go in there to wake the three of you up, and you would _ not _ have liked that,” Bobby assured him with a crooked grin.

Junhoe rolled his eyes, and it was only then that he saw Yunhyeong.

The Junior was leaned back in one of the kitchen chairs, wearing what Junhoe could only hope was Jinan’s fluffy, white robe, with a mud mask slathered on his face while drinking herbal tea.

“I’m _ relaxing,” _ Yunhyeong bit out before taking a sip from the mug of herbal tea clutched in a white-knuckled grip, “This is my relaxation time, I’m in my happy place.”

“Yeah, your happy place is in Jinan-unnie’s kitchen covered in mud,” Donghyuk remarked sarcastically as he walked through the kitchen, now wearing a full face of makeup.

Jinan wasn’t really a fan of the sharp eyeliner, preferring to round hers out more to make her eyes appear larger, so seeing Donghyuk walking around with the dark cat-eye wings was a real…eye opener.

Paired with a light wash of pink on both his cheeks and lips, the slightly older Sophomore looked absolutely stunning as he marched through the kitchen to raid the fridge, shooting the beer in Bobby’s hands a look of disgust, “Bobby-oppa, what the fuck?”

“Hair of the dog, baby,” Bobby shrugged back, “Livin’ like Larry.”

Junhoe groaned before knocking his head into the wall, “Was that—Did you just quote Spongebob? I actually hate you.”

“No you don’t,” the Junior teased back, “You loooooove me.”

“I loathe you.”

“Awww, babes, I loathe you too.”

“Bobby-oppa, loathe means hate,” Donghyuk corrected him after finally giving in and grabbing a beer of his own.

“Oh,” Bobby blinked, “Thanks, Dee. What’s another word I can use?”

“Abhor, detest. Despise. E-Exercrate.”

“Bin!” Bobby grinned, making grabby hands at the boy as he sleepily trotted in, “Com’ere.”

“Hmmph.”

Junhoe watched as he made his way over to the Junior, wiping his eyes with the sleeves of Junhoe’s hoodie that was still draped over his frame.

A small fact which Bobby seemed to realize at the same time when he sent a knowing smirk his way.

But Junhoe walked out just as Hanbin tipped against Bobby’s chest.

“Mornin’,” Chanwoo mumbled upon his re-entrance into the living room, “Sleeping Beauty is still gone to the world.”

On cue, Jinan let out a snore, far larger than her little body should have been able to produce and with enough force behind it to audibly make her jaw crack, waking her up in the process.

“Oh, nevermind. Good morning, noona, I hope you slept well.”

“Shut up, Satan,” Jinan growled at her younger cousin, “You were supposed to go back to your dorm last night. If your RA finds you missing again while you’re meant to be on watch, you’re gonna be screwed.”

“Why?” Junhoe asked, “What’d you do?”

“He put firecrackers in the frogs during his bio class.”

“Dude…” Junhoe cringed at the thought of frog guts getting blown around the room, “That’s cruel.”

“I didn’t light them!” Chanwoo argued, “It was just to get a rise out of the teacher after flunking me on the midterm. I’m not getting credits for the class now.”

“Maybe you should’ve done better.”

“I’m a film major! Why do I need biology?”

“I’m a lit major and—” Junhoe paused as Bobby came back, toting a half-asleep Hanbin on his back. Junhoe looked away. “And I still had to take bio Freshman year, and I just finished physics last semester, but that means I’m done with my science credits.”

“Lucky,” Chanwoo grumbled, making Junhoe sigh.

“Look, I still have all of the tests from those two courses, and if you take the physics class that’s also taught by Professor Lu Wang, then he doesn’t change any of the questions between years.”

“Dude, you’re a life saver!”

“I could’ve given you the tests!” Donghyuk complained, only growing redder in the face when Chanwoo pointed out that he barely passed them.

Junhoe tiredly grinned as Donghyuk and Chanwoo went back to arguing. He didn’t know how he missed that, the sexual tension the pair exuberated was almost worse than watch Bobby drool anytime that Jisoo girl walked past him. 

“Hey,” Junhoe heard Bobby mumble from behind him, “Y’okay?”

He resisted the urge to turn around to see why Bobby was asking Hanbin that, but he didn’t want to pressure Hanbin into not answering. 

“Yeah,” Hanbin mumbled back, “K-Kinda, _ yenno.” _

“The pizza? Didn’t you get the gluten-free crust?” 

Hanbin didn’t answer, so Junhoe had to assume he either shrugged or nodded.

“If they didn’t make it right, why didn’t you tell one of us?”

“S’not a big d-deal,” Hanbin muttered, but the words were muffled and Junhoe couldn’t resist turning around to see the two curly-headed boys huddled together on the couch, with Chunhee sat up in front of them.

Just as Bobby opened his mouth to answer, the dog whined and pawed at Hanbin’s knee until he lifted his head off of the stoner’s shoulder, “W-What? Out—Outsid-de time?”

“I’ll go with you.”

Bobby lifted his head in surprise and Junhoe realized what exactly he just said, even as he was already standing up and holding his free hand out to Hanbin, who just blinked up at him.

Looking away, Junhoe tried not to let the blood rush to his face in embarrassment before a sleeve-clad hand settled in his own.

Hanbin squeezed his hand as he used Junhoe’s weight as leverage to pull himself up, leaving Junhoe standing in the middle of the room as he whistled for Chunhee to follow.

_ “Whipped,” _ Donghyuk coughed.

“Shut up.”

Junhoe grumbled as he followed the other boy out, stopping to grab his jacket, and then Hanbin’s own when he noticed the owner hadn’t, on his way out.

He was able to catch a nip on the hand from Chunhee just before shutting the door of the townhouse apartment. After Junhoe’s fingers were wiped off the wetness left behind, he glanced over the see the German Shepherd jump up and paw Hanbin’s hands down from where each was gripping the elbow of the opposite arm.

“G-Go,” Hanbin urged the dog, letting his arms fall by his side as he shrugged at Junhoe with a small smile, just barely showing that one, _ stupid looking _ crooked tooth he had and Junhoe didn’t want to look away.

Junhoe was only now able to see the faint lines on Hanbin’s cheek from sleeping on the carpet, and then he realized he likely had matching marks on his own face. A reminder that they actually _ had _ slept together the night before, and it wasn’t just a figment of Junhoe’s exhausted imagination,

Not—Not _ slept together, _ but, well. Slept together. Whatever.

Semantics.

He took another sip of his coffee, mainly so he could continue to peer over the rim at Hanbin without being too inconspicuous.

“W-What?”

Guess it didn’t work.

“You have lines on your face,” Junhoe mumbled as Hanbin raised his hands back up to grasp his elbows, “From the carpet.”

“Oh. S-So d’you,” Hanbin stuck his tongue out.

“Tch.”

He figured as much.

  
  
  


“Hey, everything okay?”

“Hmm?” Hanbin inquired, turning towards him.

Did he not notice what he was doing? The way he was tapping a steady ⁴₄ rhythm against the left side of his chest with his right hand, the other one being used as a brace to support it, wrapped over his middle.

Junhoe decided not to say anything.

* * *

“I think we should go.”

Bobby cut both Hanbin and Junhoe off the second they stepped foot in Jinan’s apartment, an emotion in his eyes that Junhoe didn’t know if he could describe in any way other than desperate.

“Wait,” Junhoe put an arm out to pause the Junior, “What is it?”

The Junior’s eyes snapped to Junhoe for a second before returning to Hanbin, “Jinan and Yunhyeong are arguing again.”

Bobby didn’t have to say anything more, Junhoe understood what he meant.

_ Jinan and Yunhyeong are arguing again and it will definitely be too much for Hanbin to handle. _

“Do you want me to—” Junhoe closed his mouth, flicking his head towards Hanbin but keeping his eyes trained on the eldest of the trio.

“Nah,” Bobby shook his head, “I think you need to talk with Jinan,” he shot a worried glance toward the closed door of the bedroom as a clipped voice sounded, “Both Dee and Chanu have already left, and she booted me out of there.”

“I see…I’ll talk to her.”

Junhoe was barely able to catch Bobby’s final words to Hanbin—_ Come on, dude, you know you shouldn’t wear that thing for so long _—before he rushed towards Jinan’s bedroom.

The muffled sounds began to take the form of words, and Junhoe wanted nothing more than to turn away and fuck off but then he heard Jinan _ sob _ and all he could think about was the night he had to pick her up from a bar across the city, scared and alone and too hesitant to even run into his arms like she always did.

It was an awful night for them both, but she refused to talk about it and Junhoe couldn’t bring himself to pry.

Three days later, she told him about the boy she had been seeing for a few weeks, even tried to introduce them. Junhoe declined, once, twice, continued to decline for months. Years, even.

He had never thought to connect Yunhyeong with that night, but Junhoe swore to _ fucking god _ that if he had anything to do with whatever happened—

Junhoe would kill him.

He opened the door.

“—Maybe we should j-just stop.”

Oh, fuck.

“June?” Jinan whispered, lower lip wobbling as she turned her head towards him, “Please, please leave.”

“I’m not going to leave,” Junhoe sent a glare at Yunhyeong, even though he almost seemed to be in a worse condition than Jinan was.

He needed to know what was happening.

“What’s going on.”

It was less of a question, and more of a demand for an answer but Jinan only looked away from him, “Nothing that concerns you.”

Yunhyeong scoffed, drawing both other sets of eyes toward him, “I think it does concern him,” he said, voice gravelly and worn out. He looked exhausted, and Junhoe realized that he never actually found if he was sleeping or not last night.

Last night, when everything had seemed fine between the two of them.

“What do you mean?” Jinan questioned.

“I—I mean all you do is complain about Junhoe never paying any attention to you, like I don’t even mean anything. You’re always just _ bitching _ about how you never should have introduced him to Hanbin because he’s an _ attention whore,” _ Yunhyeong was practically seething now, “Hanbin is one of my best friends, and I won’t listen to you talk shit about him behind his back, only to be friendly to his face, just because you’re fucking insecure and I _ know _ you don’t mean it.

“Nobody is ignoring you,” the Junior continued, “But you’re treating all of us like shit. I love you but my degree is my first priority. We are both adults here. I’m not choosing to hang out with other girls, who are my _ friends, _ by the way, instead of you. I never once complained about how much time you spend with Junhoe, even before I knew he was gay.”

“Yu—”

“No,” he cut her off, “I have been nothing if not civil with you. I’ve watched Hanbin cringe every time you try and interrogate him, or—”

“I don’t trust you.”

Jinan’s voice was hollow, her eyes just as blank and empty and Yunhyeong’s entire stance crumbled.

Junhoe wanted nothing more than to turn tail and back out but he was frozen, unable to move.

“You…You don’t trust me?” Yunhyeong repeated, slowly, like he was hearing the words for the first time as he spoke them, “You don’t trust me. That’s—What, do you think I’m just going to run off with another girl?”

“Maybe I do,” Jinan spit out, “How am I meant to know you won't?”

“By trusting me!”

But, Junhoe _ knew, _ that Jinan didn’t even trust herself, let alone anyone else with her heart.

It was one of the first self-preservation tactics you learn after being kicked around a few times. It’s always easier to hurt someone before they can hurt you.

  
  
  


You don’t learn how to treat someone right after years of just _ doing _ it your whole life, and Junhoe learned that the hard way.

No, you have to fuck up first in order to know how not to. Mistakes were meant to be learned from, but that meant they had to be made first in order to grow from.

Junhoe’s made people cry, lashed out, knowing the simple fact that if he hurt them first, he could maybe keep himself safe.

You have to break sometimes, break others. Forget to pull your punches and not keep your pain inside.

Destroy everything around you and then step back to survey the damage and promise not to make the same mistakes again.

Maybe a break would be the best thing for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/MVforVictory)
> 
> leave comments pls

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/MVgetanAttitude)  

> 
> pls leave me kudos and comments i need them to live
> 
> bye babies


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